Your guide to floorcest
It’s always more complicated than you think
Floorcest. We have all been affected by its consequences in one way or another.
Urban Dictionary defines it as, “sexual relations between two people who live on the same floor”, but there are a few forms that it can come in.
The Hookup
It was one time. Or two. Sometimes drunk, sometimes sober. And it didn’t mean anything so people don’t need to freak out. Or even know about it. It can just be our little secret (until someone drunkenly spills the beans).
Fuck buddies
Thats it. Thats literally it. The only problem is, they have to see each other when they aren’t, um, fucking. And if everyone knows, then it just gets weird. And one of the two people will either move on or start to care too much and then it’ll get really weird when that has to be dealt with. So just don’t do it. Find a fuck buddy at least on a different floor.
That’s college for ‘gtfo’
The ‘love at first sight…kinda’
This kind of floorcest tends to be one-sided. At first, the two hit it off really well, like, it might actually go somewhere! But then the fact that it’s freshman year and college is finally a reality hits one of them, and all of a sudden they need space. Lots of space.
A switch is flipped and the two people that everyone thought might get married can’t even be around one another because they are so hurt by the other’s presence. And it sucks. Because they live on the same fucking floor and have to see each other all the time.
It…worked out?
Sometimes, it actually lasts. But only if the couple does it correctly. The key to making any floorcest relationship last, especially freshman year, is to wait. It doesn’t matter how strongly or deeply you feel for the person down the hall.
By waiting, it gives a chance for the two to “get their thirst out”, and to appease their college fantasies they’ve been having for years. And then, when the time is right, they get together (usually in the winter when everyone is tired of frats and just wants a cuddle buddy). And they live on the same floor! That actually comes in handy in this type of floorcest! WHOO!
Floorcest has a reputation of being frowned upon. Usually, people are just hurt and things get weird. So make sure that you know what you want from that person a just a few doors down.
And remember, they’re gonna’ be there. All. Year. Long.