A Friday night at UMass as told by a RHS monitor
‘No I will not call UMPD because the vending machine didn’t give you your ice cream sandwich’
Weekend nights at UMass consist of three things: booze, bangers, and Baby Berk.
But no one truly knows just how eventful a Friday night can be until they’ve experienced it behind the desk of one of the Residence Hall Security Monitors.
So put on your black polos and khaki pants, because it’s going to be an interesting night.
Being a Residence Hall Security Monitor, our night starts at 8pm. The lobby is a ghost town or — as I like to say — the calm before the storm. It isn’t until around 9 when the rush of guest sign-ins crowd the desks.
Around 10:30pm, the residents slowly leave the building, anxious for the night ahead of them with their backpacks ready to go. I can’t help but shiver when I see girls leave in dresses and skirts, not realizing the pain they are about to experience when the cold, crisp air hits their bare legs. They don’t seem to mind — beauty is pain, right?
Soon after, the aroma of Baby Berk — belonging to those smart enough to stay in on this winter evening — fills my nostrils. The smell is pure torture, as is hearing “Southwest Express, I’m downstairs,” every ten minutes. It’s just a cruel tease, because I know the only thing I have to look forward to during the seven-hour shift is a single bag of Skinny Pop and a brownie I smuggled out of the dining hall. Doesn’t quite compare.
When signing up for a weekend shift as a security monitor, one needs to be prepared for the insane amount of FOMO that inevitably accompanies the shift. Your phone will blow up with drunk snapchats from your friends at their parties and stories of tonight’s ice cream sundae at Late Night, while you sit scanning ID after ID and saying repeatedly, “have a nice night.”
The crowds file back in the dorms around 1:30am and the streets of Southwest are alive once again.
Making friends is not exactly difficult when you’re working security on the weekends. Frat boys and girls dressed in anything-but-weather-appropriate clothing flood the lobbies, reeking of the eventful night they’ve just experienced.
It’s a constant struggle of wanting to start a conversation with the cute boys that come and go past the desk, and not wanting them to see you in the oversized polo we have to wear.
Walking around campus the next morning is always interesting when I see the familiar faces from the previous night. And I can’t help but feel slightly stalker-like for knowing the building and room numbers the familiar faces reside in, or which guest they signed in in the early hours of the morning to “hang out.”
I look forward to the exciting nights UMass has to offer — both on the clock and off.