I sat through an entire Organic Chemistry lecture as a non-science major

Like most parents, my mom and dad always aspired for their kid to become a doctor (you know the feeling). I was on board with the whole, “saving lives” thing for a while until I took Chemistry my junior year of high school. That dream went up in flames along with my left eyebrow on a Bunsen burner.

Don’t get me wrong though, I have always admired those talented enough to continue along the pre-med path. Here at the University of Miami, it seems like almost everyone is a pre-med student. The first time I heard kids freaking out over the word “orgo,” I thought it was an infectious disease or an abbreviation for the word “organ.” Clearly, I have no business in an organic chemistry class. I decided to attend one anyway.

Here’s what happened:

Pre-Orgo: While my friend and I were still blissfully unaware of the horror that awaited for us inside the lecture hall

2.23pm: I make it to Cox in time for my 2:30 lecture. It’s the headquarters for all things science related. I have never set foot in this building before. It looks slightly utilitarian, but hey, I’m about to enter the no-frills world of organic chemistry.

2.25pm: There are two stuffed antelope staring me down in the lobby of Cox. Actual taxidermy. I find this strange and can’t help but wonder if they come to life at night and roam the halls. Are they possessed by the souls of ex-orgo students?

2.28pm: Students fill the lecture hall, so I take a seat nearest to the exit in case I need to make a quick getaway. A friend near the front of the lecture hall spots me and waves me down to sit next to him. There’s no backing out now.

2.30pm: Now I’m sitting near the front of the class and I am hoping no one can smell the Comm School on me. I ask my friend what to expect, and he tells me not to worry because I’m going to have a great time (I recall telling my dog this the first time we took him to the vet). Class should be starting any second.

2.31pm: The professor enters and postpones the homework until next Sunday night. Cheers fill the lecture hall. I find myself letting out a sigh of relief for no apparent reason.

2.40pm: Today reaction mechanisms are the name of the game. “These are the core of organic chemistry,” says the professor, “if you understand these you can see into the future.” I hear the “That’s So Raven” theme song play in my head.

2.55pm: My mind wanders for a bit and when I come back to reality I hear the professor talking about proton transfer. Is that similar to Venmo?

3.00pm: I’m not exactly sure who Bronsted Lowry is, but their name sounds like it should belong to a successful foreign hotel proprietor.

3.11pm: I assume pKa is a top tier fraternity here on campus. When is bid day? #RushpKa

3.20pm: The professor ends the class by asking if there are any questions. I have so many…

Post-Orgo: My brain was more melted than a caramel frap in the Miami heat. On that note I could barely remember how to get to Richter’s Starbucks

As soon as class ended, I flew out of that room as quickly as an SN1 reaction with a good leaving group. Hey, maybe I actually learned a little something.

Who are we kidding? Thankfully, my parents still have another shot at a doctor with my younger sister.