Vanderbilt played shag, marry, or kill with presidential candidates
I’d shag Trump to convince him to marry me, then kill him for his money.
In order to make an informed decision about who you’re voting for, you need to ask yourself some important questions.
Asking yourself things like whose platform you identify with, whose healthcare policies you agree with and which candidate you would shag, marry, or kill can really help a candidate get the votes they deserve.
I asked some Vandy students how they’d categorize Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Donald Trump in a rather political twist to this classic game.
Marce Merry, Junior
“I’d kill Hillary for sure. Then I’d shag Trump and marry Bernie Sanders because he’ll die soon.”
Becca Meltzer, Senior
“I’d kill Trump, marry Sanders because Hillary Clinton seems like she’d be annoying, and shag Clinton.”
Ashley Mauch, Sophomore
“I’d marry Trump, kill Bernie Sanders, and I guess shag Hillary.”
Lily Williams, Senior
“Definitely kill Trump, marry Sanders, and shag Hillary. And I’m straight”
Allyn James, Senior
“Shag Trump, Shag Sanders, Shag Clinton”
Jake Van Geffen, Junior
“Is it too late to say Ben Carson for any of these?”
Honorable Mention: Sonny Capece, University of Montana
“Shag: Donald Trump. Why? Because us blondes stick together and with that million dollar hair piece, who wouldn’t want to run their fingers through it?
“Marry: Clinton, only because I get to eskimo bros with Bill and talk on the reg about how the Hilldog’s such a terrible lay.
“And lastly, kill the Bern…but not in a violent, assassinated way. I imagine his death as a result of a serious coke overdose after an epic night of throwing cash at career college students for no reason…yeah”.
…well, there you have it. On this Super Tuesday, I urge you to think about the future of America. Don’t think just about who you want in the office, but who you would want to shag, marry, or kill?