Should your Halloween costume be sexy or funny?
I once saw someone making out with a freshman who was dressed as Shrek
Halloween (hal-uh-ween): A pagan holiday on October 31st, meant to honor the dead.
But we all know that’s bullshit.
That’s right, people of Yale, Halloweek is in full force, which means we’re all in for back-to-back nights of getting way too drunk and trying to find your friend who decided to be one of the 50,000 girls who went to Zeta as a cat.
Though we are all tasked with the decision of attending Spook’d or Hallopallooza, girls in particular are faced with the age-old question: should I dress sexy or funny?
Luckily, The Tab Yale feels your pain. So, we’ve laid out the pros and cons of both to make your lives a little bit easier.
The case for sexy costumes
You can walk past those girls in onesies and fat suits knowing that you look hot as hell and aren’t sorry about it. Also, your costume probably has less fabric than most lingerie sets, so you won’t be marinating in your own sweat on the Toad’s dance floor.
And finally, you know the guys will be totally into you all night.
The case against sexy costumes
But many of those guys will most likely be Q-packers.
You’ll also have to decide between freezing to death on the walk from your pregame to the party and lugging a jacket around all night. You can’t win.
And, you’ll have to explain to literally everyone what you are because taping a pair of ears to your headband does not make you a mouse.
TBH, that sign is genius
The case for funny costumes
It’s the only time of year when it is socially acceptable to wear sweats to a frat party, and there’s no way you’re throwing away that glorious opportunity. You don’t have to worry about making an oompa loompa sexy, so you have much more creative freedom.
Also, it doesn’t really matter what you’re wearing because guys will hit on you no matter what. I once saw someone making out with a freshman who was dressed as Shrek, so trust me, ladies, you’re fine.
The case against funny costume
You’re going to overheat. That’s just a fact of life.
Also there’s nothing quite like being surrounded by freshmen in latex bodysuits while you’re dressed as a sumo wrestler to make you realize that you’re the swuggiest of SWUGs.
There are, however, those few masters of Halloween who outshine us all and manage to get the best of both worlds.
Like Rebecca Wolenski, who slayed as Little “Reb” Riding Hood.
And Megan Murphy, who pulled the most Yale stunt possible and dressed as Schrödinger’s cat.
Quantum mechanics has never looked so good.