We asked Yale athletes why Harvard sucks
We’re really just telling you what you already know
There’s nothing worse than when Harvard students descend upon our beautiful campus.
OK, a few of us have friends from high school who go there, or your cousin’s best friend’s uncle’s brother’s fish went there. But in reality, Harvard does and always will suck.
As few people can beat varsity athletes in school spirit (Whaling Crew, I see you), we decided to have a few talented students tell us why, exactly, Harvard sucks so much.
Spencer Rymiszewski, #17 and Myles Gaines, #82, Football
“Harvard sucks because they’re cheese.”
We weren’t quite sure what Spencer and Myles meant by this so we had them try again.
Drake=soft, therefore Harvard=soft
“Harvard sucks because they listen to Drake for pre-game.”
Dale Harris, #1, Football
“Well, there’s a lot of reasons why Harvard sucks. But they’re all the people who couldn’t play football for Yale.”
Karlee Fuller, Volleyball
We all know everyone pees on the foot
“Harvard sucks because they probably touched the statue’s foot.”
Sometimes it’s the students, and sometimes it’s just the institution as a whole…
Elizabeth Zordani, Tennis
Veritas Sux without the Lux
“Harvard sucks because they don’t have any lux!”
Ree Ree Li, Tennis
There are few things more pretentious than having a ‘concept’ as a mascot
“Harvard sucks because…what is a Crimson?”
Seriously, what is a Crimson? What noise does a Crimson make?
Moral of the story: Harvard is just the worst. ROLL DAWGS!