Freshman Screw: expectation vs. reality
If you’re like me, you’ll have a little too much fun at the pregame and spend the rest of the night embarrassing yourself in front of your date (sorry, Dylan)
Ah, Screw. The night that all the freshmen look forward to and the dance that literally no one can believe Yale sponsors.
Famous for its name (you’re either going to screw or get screwed over, depending on how shitty your suitemates are), Freshman Screw has been used by tour guides for years to prove to the outside world that Yale is, in fact, fun.
By all means, get pumped, freshmen, because tonight’s going to be wild. But before you set your expectations too high, we thought you needed a quick reality check.
The date
Expectation
Somehow, your suitemates will miraculously read your mind and secure the British cutie you’ve been eyeing in your English 114 seminar.
Reality
Your suitemates will spend weeks complaining about how it’s ‘so hard to find a date for you’. You’ll feel like shit until the day before the dance, when you realize they haven’t stalked a single Facebook profile. You’ll probably end up with the weird kid who wears knee and elbow pads as they cruise down Science Hill on their scooter.
The outfit
Expectation
You’ll look 110% bangable because, hey, it’s not called Screw for nothing. Your suit game will rival Jame Bond’s and that leather mini dress you optimistically bought over winter break will finally fit.
Reality
Urban and American Apparel will be your best friends. You’ll probably have a minor panic attack at 8 pm the night of when you go through your closet and realize you have absolutely nothing to wear. You’ll still look pretty bangable, though, because we Yalies have been known to clean up well.
The first meeting
Expectation
You will have the meet-cute to end all meet-cutes that’s definitely not embarrassing at all. The second you lock eyes with your date, you’ll feel the electric pull that one could only describe as love at first sight.
Reality
As you stand in flippers and floaties in the middle of Old Campus, you’ll realize that every single freshman wearing a suit or a tight dress and stilettos looks exactly the same.
The pregame
Expectation
The entire pregame will be spent completely engrossed in your date because, as I said earlier, they’re perfect. You’ll sip champagne to look classy, but take just enough shots to let everyone know you’re fun.
Reality
It’s a pregame just like any other pregame. Except this time the room will be 10 times more crowded and you’ll have a stranger to devote your attention to. Not that you’ll be able to hear them over the bumpin’ Justin Bieber song. If you’re like me, you’ll have a little too much fun at the pregame and spend the rest of the night embarrassing yourself in front of your date (sorry, Dylan).
The actual dance
Expectation
You’re going to dance the night away in a classy-ass venue and score the perfect profile picture/cover photo. When you hook up with your date, it will be more of a passionate kiss on the dance floor than a DFMO.
Reality
Think, Toad’s, but in Commons. Your make-out session will be just as ratchet as any, except this time it’ll be in a well-lit room with all of your friends nearby to take snapchats of you.
But honestly, no matter who you go with, what you wear, or even whether or not you remember the night, nothing beats dressing up and getting a little rowdy with the amazing people you’ve met at Yale.