If your favorite New Haven bars were Yalies on a night out

Toad’s Place

Toad’s just cannot get their shit together. They’re either the freshman who’s blacked out every weekend for the past three months, or the kid who just dumped/got dumped by their boyfriend/girlfriend from home and are just looking for that DFMO. Either way, they’re not afraid to get a little sweaty and dance across that stage like nobody’s watching.

Sushi on Chapel

Sushi on Chap? Oh, you mean the Theta dining hall.

Sushi on Chap just wanted to throw back a couple dozen saki bombs before going to chapter, which will obviously be followed by a sloppy night at Woad’s.

Box 63

Toad’s is just sooo last year for Box; they’re too mature for that. She is always white girl wasted, running around in a tight mini skirt with her stilettos in hand. “I’m not drunk, I promise,” might as well be her catch phrase as she stumbles into Salsa Fresca for her late night burrito, because calories don’t count after 2 a.m.

Harvest

Harvest came out of the gates a little too fast and furious. They threw some ragers in the beginning of the year, one might say TOO many. They’re now permanently on Dean Holloway’s watch list and forbidden from hosting a gathering of more than 20 people. Boo Harvest.

El Amigo Felix (AKA Amigo’s)

Amigo’s doesn’t even try to keep up appearances, they’re just here to get drunk. They most definitely drink the punch (let’s be honest, if you drink Crunk Juice you’ll drink anything) and Hannah Montana is their girl.

Mory’s

Mory’s might seem all prim and proper upon first meeting, but once they get a little punch in them they’re just as gross as the rest of us. They’re not in the Whiffenpoofs, but they desperately wish they were. You don’t want to be around Mory’s when they’re blackout, because they’ll insist on showing you where their great-great-great grandfather carved his name into one of the tables, because he was the captain of the men’s heavyweight crew team, didn’t you know?