Clubbers of the week: Two weeks until Christmas
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling ring ting ting-a-ling too
Bob PalmerStunners of the week
The best way to avoid clothes shrinkage is washing by hand or using cold water on a delicate cycle
Coldest clubber
Not risking anything since Welly Ball
Best value three-for-one haircut
Bet the guy in the shirt regrets not coming
Cutest couple
Your love makes me feel weightless
Most confused husband
Sally, what are you doing?
Most festive clubber
Please Mrs Claus, think of the elves
Happiest indie rock fan
Oasis reunion? Yes mate!
Keira Knightley lookalike
I look quite pretty, don’t I?
Least responsible drinking buddies
Just a sip to wet the whistle mate
It’s not piss, I swear
Most committed athlete
When you’ve just finished a VK but still want to smash your PB
Most painful stubbed toe
Girls let’s get some shoAAARRGHHH
Man most terrified of the number five
GET IT AWAY FROM ME
Most well-preserved severed head
How did he even get that past the bouncers?
Odd one out
I mean, the coat’s a giveaway
Most talented saleswoman
I give you good price
Best Heisenberg mask
Wait let me stick it on
And a giant glass of Scotch pretending to be a man
You’re fooling no-one