The best clubbers of 2015

January exam results mean nothing compared to this

clubbers cotw

It’s been a heavy first term, but we’ve made it through together.

Before we all head off to doze in front of the fire and prepare for re-freshers, it’s time to settle something.

Behold: the greatest clubbers across the country from semester one.

Stunners of the term

Well one of us is going to have to change

Squad of the term

The white shirt and yellow VK party was a roaring success

Shared shirt of the term

It gets awkward when we go to the toilet

Best Jean Valjean audition

ONE DAY MOOOOOOOORE

Least convincing wigs

Could’ve fooled us if you’d paid an extra tenner

Most cartoonish injury

Oh ffs, Becca got stuck in another lampshade

Cheekiest clubber

Trainers in a club? Naughty!

Chilla of the term

But where are the bubbles coming from?

Concerned parents of the term

Sit down, David – your mother and I need to talk to you

Cutest couple

Male great white sharks have a modified pelvic fin, called a clasper, which they use to impregnate females

Least convincing friendship

Get the FUCK off me Hannah

Worst first attempt at shaving

Did your fathers teach you nothing?

Most proud of their fur coats

She’s laughing about dead animals

Girl you’ll never be as cool as

She’s not coming to your party

Girl most jealous of another girl’s Red Stripe

Bet hers is colder than mine

Guy most uncomfortable with hipster culture

Fucking JAM JARS?

Least effort

You could have changed out of your day clothes

Longest arms

The lengths he’ll go to for respect

Most blatantly caught watching porn

An incognito window won’t save you now

Most confused clubbers

It’s a balloon lads

Most awkward fancy dress miscommunication

But you said “dress up”??

Guy most pleased with his palm reading

A long line curving around the ball of my thumb means I’m a rock whom people count on!

Most anthropomorphic glass of Scotch

Aw he thinks he’s people

Most pissed off husband

Dammit Sharon you do this every time

Person most on our vibe

Ye we get u

Most pissed off clubber

Does he look like he has fucking time for this

Clubber most prepared for a sweaty dancefloor

When your BF wears tweed to a club, you take precautions

Most promising new signing

He’s influential both on and off the pitch and i think he’ll make a great addition to the team

Guy most proud of his mate’s knuckles

They’re beautiful right

Most irresponsible clubber of the term

If you’re not careful you’ll set your mate’s beard on fire

And his mate

Ah shit, too late

Most severely lactose intolerant clubber

MILK!?

Most premature ejaculation

Excuse me ladies

Saddest clubber

Last time I left my coat in a cloakroom, it was Welly Ball

Simplest pleasure

You know what? We love Sprite too

Stickiest palms of the term

With great power comes great responsibility

Worst attempt at putting on a jumper

You didn’t even try

Best therapist

How does that make you feel?

Best therapy patients

It makes us feel alone