There’s a new Bridget Jones trailer

Bridget Jones is the nation’s archetypal single woman. Anyone who’s a bit single will worry about “ending up like Bridget Jones”; anyone who’s ever fielded a romantic question from an impertinent relative will quip something about a “turkey curry buffet”. These remarks are quite trite and tired – but also, they work because the references resonate with everyone.

For there are scenes that everyone remembers, almost still by still. The one where she sings All By Myself and plays some fake drums, alone, in her flat in Borough; the scene where she swigs vodka and listens to Chaka Khan; that scene where she wears massive pants and then gets lucky; the scene where she bursts into Daniel Cleaver’s bathroom to find a naked “stick insect” who appraises her and then fat-shames her.

The second film was OK. The bit where she sang Madonna in the Thai prison was sort of funny. I almost laughed when she fell over skiing.

Now – the trailer for the third film is out. Watch it below:

Obviously, it’s disappointing.

The first film is easy, breezy watching – pitched well at hangovers and the languid period between Christmas and New Year when nothing really happens. And the second film suits if it’s on ITV2 at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon.

But this one falls flat.

• Firstly, Bridget seems to have gone full-on “twee”. I know this is set in London, in the present day. But the cushions, the pastel throws, the candles, the cup cake for one – these signifiers of modern urban success are inconsistent with Bridget Jones who totes fags, swigs wine from a bottle and makes blue soup. People grow up, they earn more, but we want sloppy Bridget not Bridget who has her shit together.
• See also: Bridget walking over the Thames wearing a lace dress.
• WHY IS ED SHEERAN THERE?
• Also, re: Bridget’s inconsistencies. Either she is a successful career woman or she is a buffoon (“do you need the bathroom, Bridget?”). Which?
• Bridget at Glasto – nope. Meeting a man at Glastonbury who looks like he’s dressed for a day “blue-sky thinking” at a co-working space – nope. This man then returning her high-heeled shoe to her foot in a clumsy derivative fairytale moment – nope.
• Also – I don’t know the plot of this film- but did she conceive her child (soz, spoiler) at a festival? Maybe not. But if so, that’s another inconsistency as the notion she has had successful sex at a festival – the sort that results in the conception of a child – is also unrealistic.
• Fair play: her Mum becoming a Tory candidate makes a lot of sense.

I mean, I’ll still watch it on a hangover. But I won’t like it.