Hey Theresa, only these Clubbers of the Week will cure your cough

The news is aflutter about Grant Shapps' plot to get Theresa May out. Me? I'm plotting to get her out out.

Four Ralph Lauren t-shirts Jeremy? Four? That's insane

This is what the Tories want Britain to look like

After the supposed plot this morning, Theresa needs to have some serious chats with her minions

She just can't look them in the boggly eyes

Surprise football joke! Call this lad Man City, because he's on the top of the table

Is this legendary striker Peter CROUCH?

Pointy hats woo

Our hats are pointy!

At least Boris is letting his hair down

That visor can't hide you, Mr Foreign Secretary

The man is May, ready to call another election, the girl is the British public

Get out of my face pls

When old boy Toby still hasn't gotten over his leafy hometown 'safe' seat falling to those bloomin lefties

But you told him to vote at uni so your sympathy's a little diminished

Will May call back-to-back general elections? Or will she go for back-to-back chugging?

Election night coverage would only benefit if Dimbleby was forced to do a Jagerbomb for every Lib Dem loss

Not relevant either, but Paul Chuckle obviously loves a 'Preme drop and spends his days scrolling The Basement

Can't wait to cop, Barry

Look at this guy, eager to play everyone his "Strong and Stable" dubstep remix

Yeah, I'm from Tunbridge Wells, but my brother's mate's landlord knows Skream so it's all chill brah

This bo tle is b tter at s ayi g up th n t ose pe ky le ters

Good luck if you actually read that

And look, if Kem can survive beef with Lethal Bizzle, you can make it through the night (or at least the weekend)

Don't let the plotters get to you, hun

Ok Theresa, we get it, if Corbyn gets elected society will get so bad everyone is reduced to weird toothy battles over the last £10 of our GDP

Still, the chants are good

At least it's not a pig

This does look fun though

All pictures are from the clubs' official Facebook pages. Featured image courtesy of Tup Tup Palace Newcastle.