These Valentine’s Clubbers will make you cry into your microwave meal

Received wisdom suggests every Valentine's puts you into two categories: annoying mutuals by being performatively single on the 'net or, you know, shagging.

But, in the true spirit of Tony Blair, there's a third way. Getting rinsed online when you were just trying to have fun on a night out.

New Toy Story looks shit ngl. Andy's spent too much time looking at Yeezys

I've lived a thousand LightYears in a single second

Good. Hair.

Holding your mate's hair on is the ultimate act of friendship

I love hair

Until you let go and they pull your hair off

Still pulled

"Well there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded": Diana, Princess of Wales (1995)

Does this make the smurf Camilla?

What are we having for dinner tonight? Chinese? Indian? NO

I'M GOING TO EAT TIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Taps. Aff

Milky bois are my fave

A man stares lovingly at his drink. It is his Valentine

Club Tropicana, drinks love me???

Good composition

Lots going on. Don't just scroll by

Eat my hand it's Valentine's and M&S have run out of the – frankly exceptionally well-priced – ready meal for two

I know it's not romantic but it's ~necessary~

Two excellent photobombers

Two vibes. Two brilliant vibes

HI IT'S CHRIS TARRANT FROM WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE. YOU'RE DOWN AS SAM'S PHONE A FRIEND, YES?

Oh my goodd yes I hope the question is about Roman viaducts

Fair fucks

You just have to step up and be That Guy

No jokes, just everyone in this pic having a fucking great time

Unlike you. You'll die alone.

All photos are from the clubs' official Facebook pages. Featured image via Trash Brighton.