How to make conversation on a first date so you don’t die of pure awkwardness

Picture in your mind: You’re waiting at the bar for a date to arrive. You’re totally bricking it because you have fuck all to say to this guy when he gets here – your form of communication was you sending him an eggplant emoji on Tinder. Tl;dr: You don’t know how to make conversation on a first date.

What you don’t want to do is follow in Michael’s footsteps from First Dates Hotel, where he kicked off conversation with his date by saying he was “knackered.” He followed this with: “Oh wow, I thought you were older”. Yeesh.

It’s natural to get a bit of anxiety prior to a first date, so follow these eight tips on how to make conversation on a first date:

Firstly, ask about what they’re drinking and make snap judgements on their personality

Boring question? Maybe. Great ice-breaker? Definitely. Knowing how to start the conversation on the first date is the hardest part, but opening up with literally the most in-front-of-you question will release tension from you and your date.

If nothing else, their answer will indicate if it’s a good idea to order those sambuca shots you’ve been gagging for since you got here.

Ask about where they’ve travelled previously and if they’ve been to Bali then GTFO

Asking about travel is a major hit or miss question. If they’re not up for a spontaneous trip to Paris, then they’re probably super lame and boring, so don’t feel bad if you cut the date short right there.

But if they’re well travelled, then they’re going to have loads of cool stories to talk about. Unless they’re a massive tory with rich parents. If they mention that mummy and daddy paid for their trip to Bali then just bail immediately.

Insert woozy emoji.

Ask the other person about their aspirations, because nothing is sexier than guys who have goals

Obviously, you don’t want to come across too strong and weird by asking about their future life goals, I mean you only met two minutes ago. But you need to ask what the other person’s interests and ambitions are because you’re nosy, obviously, but more importantly, you’re on the date to get to know the other person.

If you do ask the right questions about their career and do the quick maths in your head, you can definitely work out how much they’ll be earning a year. Not like that’s important.

Listening to a guy talk about what he’s passionate about and what he wants to do with his life is just dreamy. You also need someone that can be assertive and tell you where they’re taking you on the next date.

Find out what their star sign is and if you’re compatible

This is another hit or miss question, if your star signs aren’t compatible, then sorry but thank you, next. If they claim not to know their star sign it’s a massive red flag.

Have you ever met someone who is fit af but has the personality of a brick wall? That’s probably because your star signs aren’t compatible, obviously. It’s basic science.

Just get this out of the way on the first date, do us all a favour.

If you end up talking too much about yourself, you’ve done something wrong

Try and avoid: “So tell me about yourself” as this is boring. Try to sound engaging and not like you’re following a script.

Ask specific questions about their family, friends, uni experiences, hobbies, previous travel experiences, most expensive purchase in the past six months. Bonus points if they have a dog.

But make sure they’re asking questions about you as well, otherwise it’s a waste of time.

Be inquisitive about what they watch and whether they have a Netflix account (that you can use)

Not that this is an important question, as you clearly bum off your friend’s account. But it’s nice to see what programmes they love to binge watch and what makes them passionate to talk about. Yes!!! Passion!!!

But if they’re not watching serial killer documentaries religiously than maybe it’s not meant to be? Because what else can you binge watch in the cosy winter evenings?

Discuss each other’s favourite things to do locally

As well as showing interest in the other person, this is a quick way to learn if you share mutual interests, which is very important. But don’t tell the other person how much you gym and how heavy you can squat, because I can put money on the fact they don’t give a fuck.

And sorry to break it to you, but if the only common ground is you both love dogs, that’s not quite going to cut it.

If it turns out you both share mutual interests, there’s already a selection of options for a second date. Although please don’t discuss the second date straight away, because cringe.

Find out about their dating history so you can understand where you stand from the get-go

We’re not suggesting to ask about their exes and breakups, this isn’t a therapy session.

It’s nice to be on the same page. Is this just a FWB vibe? Are we going to get married and have beautiful babies? Or are we going to ghost each other? Communication is key.

So how to make conversation on a first date in a nutshell? Don’t talk about yourself too much, don’t be boring and don’t expect too much from the other person. Especially if you’re both just there for the shag.

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• How to deal with being ghosted: The 101 Guide

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• These people got back together with their exes and it actually worked out