Someone has ranked unis by how close they are to a Nando’s

Someone has made a university league table based on how close your uni is to a Nando's and it is excellent.

Inspired by our Greggs Uni league, Twitter HE parody account Bantshire University cooked up the spiciest uni ranking yet.

Sticklers for method, they've even broken it down into Russell Group and non-Russell Group unis, and banded unis together in the newly-coined Nando's Excellence Framework (NEF) – a parody of the Teaching Excellence Framework (TEF).

In the Russell Group, unsurprisingly UCL tops the table, with no shortage of outlets for moderately spicy chicken in central London. They're followed by Newcastle.

Bantshire University, via GitHub

The message here is clear: avoid Southampton and Warwick if you don't want to trek for your piri piri.

In the non-Russell Group, four universities share the prestigious "1" ranking: Glasgow School of Art, Ravensbourne, Trinity Laban, and St Andrews.

Winchester and Harper Adams suffer, coming absolutely bottom of the rankings. The picturesque city of Winchester has a lovely cathedral, but can't muster up a Nando's. Disgraceful.

For cities with no Nando's near campus, Bantshire have created a "Lemon and Herb table". The list of shame includes Cardiff, Coventry, Exeter, Glasgow, and Lancaster. Surely now all these August institutions will struggle with recruitment.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• The Greggs Uni league: The cities with the highest Greggs to student ratio

• We’ve figured out exactly where the North is by plotting every single Greggs store on a map

• It’s time to admit Nando’s is massively overrated