Everyone’s rinsing this awful advert about going back to work in the office

Do you miss the office? Of course you don’t, but there’s a new advert on the underground trying to convince you that you do. The ad lists 20 things about office life, each of them more absurd and objectively awful than the last. Absolutely no one misses a single one of them and, for quite obvious reasons, the good people of Twitter are roasting the living daylights out of the advert.

An absolute highlight of the advert is: “Proper bants. The boss’s jokes. Office gossip.” I would love to hear the bants in the office of the person who wrote this, because I 100 per cent guarantee you it’s on par with Jay from The Inbetweeners. No boss’s joke has ever been funny, in the history of this universe. Even if I never have to fake-laugh at a boss’s terrible joke again, it will be too soon. It also describes your colleagues as “your second family”, which genuinely could not be further from the truth.

The advert then goes on to list some absolutely inane things, so boring they bring a tear to my eye: “Receptionists. Taking a lift. Plastic plants. Those weird carpets.” I don’t mean to alarm you, but if you do miss any of these things I really think you should go and see your GP.

The final line is definitely the only good thing about working in an office, and perhaps the only thing I actually miss: “Leaving early for a cheeky afternoon in the sun.” I’m choosing look past the completely unacceptable use of the word “cheeky”, because it’s honestly one of the least offensive parts of the entire thing.

If you’re working from home, you’re definitely still doing most of the things in the advert, and all of them are still horrible. “Hearing an alarm”? Mine goes off at half seven every day and just hearing the first note of it makes me feel physically sick. “CCing. BCCing. Accidentally replying-all”? Anyone with a phone still gets emails, hun, even though I wish I didn’t.

“Putting on a tie. Carrying a handbag”? I hate to break it to the creator of this advert, but shockingly you don’t actually have to be inside an office to do either of these things. Whoever wrote it is definitely a man and doesn’t realise that carrying a handbag is a) not something to get excited about, and b) something women do literally every single time they leave the house.

Here’s what everyone had to say about the ridiculous underground advert about going back to work in the office:

1. I hear the bants is top quality

2. Sadness. Shame

via Twitter

3. I’m not in one of these and now I’m pretty sure my whole office hates me

via Twitter

4. Feel like pure shit just want the carpet back

5. Hard pass

6. Okay but now I want a tattoo of the Pret star

7. I agree wholeheartedly

8. Oi oiii

9. It’s the best part of any day

10. A cinematic masterpiece

via Twitter

11. ‘I did a creative writing module last year, actually‘

12. Sent my first email aged 7

13. Gotta get up early to take my antibiotics

14. Bants is, of course, key part of the Communist Manifesto

15. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, GRETCHEN

16. I will not hesitate to call 999 on you

17. Surely, it has to be

18. Love a buzzword, me

19. Be there in five!!!

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