Every Cheryl single ranked from great to greatest

Sorry, but she literally never missed

4 years ago

Trash

There was a time where Cheryl Tweedy / Cole / Fernandez-Versini / just-going-by-Cheryl-now was the most famous woman in the country. And honestly, ever since she lost that title, everything in the world has gone downhill.

The final straw was when Madame Tussaud’s removed her waxwork as they deemed her no longer culturally relevant. As a lifelong soldier in Cheryl’s army, that move on their part really twisted the knife in deep.

I’ve just about swallowed the brutal pill that Cheryl is no longer a main pop girl. We might never get another single from our Geordie queen – and… that will be okay. Why? Because what we’ve got in the discography is BRITISH POP MUSIC OF THE HIGHEST ORDER, THAT’S WHY!

Four top 10 albums on the UK albums chart. The first woman to ever get five number one singles on the UK Singles Chart, a record she held until J*ss Glynne stole it from her.

12 big singles and not a single misstep. Here’s every Cheryl single ranked from great to greatest:

12. Under The Sun

Okay, when I said not a single misstep, that might have been the die hard fan talking. Under The Sun isn’t a misstep, but it’s a liccle bit of a stumble.

What the Eliza Doolittle is going on here? The song isn’t too bad, VERY 2012, it just doesn’t really feel very Cheryl and even though it’s going for a retro vibe it just feels dated. The music video is a bit perplexing and has Coronation St. energy.

11. The Flood

Don’t ask me to explain this but The Flood has the same energy as when the Glee Cast used to do original songs.

It’s cringe beyond belief, but it IS great. This weird narrative where Cheryl lives in a lighthouse and is in some destructive romance is so funny to me, even if that’s not the intention. It really lyrically committed to the water theme (“slipping through my fingers such / a natural disaster love!”) but kind of winds up drowning in it.

All that being said, it’s still a bit of a late 00s power ballad relic that has merit.

10. Only Human

The fact that a song THIS great is coming in TENTH tells you everything you need to know about how good Cheryl’s singles run is.

This is so bloody beautiful. The vocoder production on the verses is so wow and was quite ahead of its time back in 2014. It’s a shame it underperformed so much because it deserved to be a big hit.

Vocally WOW. Cheryl Houston. Cheryl Carey. Cheryl Dion. Cheryl Grande. Voice of a generation if you ask me.

9. Crazy Stupid Love

You can’t go wrong with a la la la la la song. Kylie proved it, Britney proved it and queen Cheryl proved it. And with the assistance of Tinie Tempah, it became her fourth number one (and the lowest placing Chezza number one on the ranking).

Crazy Stupid Love is a balls to the wall 2014 banger from start to finish. The verses are great. The prechorus is AMAZING (“it’s like a ROLLERRRRCOASTER but I’m only going’ up!”). Its only flaw? The instrumental chorus drop – a 2014 music fad that thankfully has pissed off.

8. Love Made Me Do It

Should have been a huge comeback hit and I’ll never forgive the evil British public for failing her here.

Fun production, good songwriting, infectious finger snapping baseline – it’s great and we will have no Love Made Me Do It slander on this ranking.

Can’t listen to this without quoting her saying “Love made me do it, Ru!” when she guest judged on Drag Race UK.

7. I Don’t Care

Cheryl might not care, but I do! This was her fifth number one and as soon as you press play it’s clear why.

The second single from her 2014 album Only Human, its electropop production sounds fresher by today’s standards than Crazy Stupid Love does despite the latter being the lead. It’s so fun and carefree – and isn’t that what pop music is all about!?

Feels so euphoric singing along to “I don’t care / and it feels so fucking good to say I swear, that I don’t care!” and absolutely belting your tits off. Not sure what she was up to with this weird Below Deck vibe music video but I’ll leave her to it ’cause it’s a bop.

6. Promise This

Completely left-field and wild. A French intro motif that doubles as the post chorus and then goes into a full en Français outro? Okay, sure!

Another banger that reached the top spot of the UK Singles Chart – Promise This was the lead single from Messy Little Raindrops (her worst album by a mile, but lets not go there) and did an excellent job of solidifying Cheryl’s solo career success as something deserved and not just a fluke hit off the back of Girls Aloud fame.

It’s exciting, dramatic, a bit weird and has arguably her most cinematic music video.

5. 3 Words

The most avant garde song in her catalogue. It’s an alternative pop release from one of the most mainstream artists you could get in 2008.

Let it be noted that this EXCELLENT tune came off the back of her huge debut single’s success. This is the second glimpse the world got at what Cheryl’s solo output was going to be like. And it’s… so unconventional. A huge risk.

It’s not the biggest hit in her discography, but it’s arguably the bravest. Really well written, weird electronic production mashed up with an acoustic guitar that makes it sound like it would be right at home on Madonna’s Music album.

Says so much about her music taste and artistry that this got a single push. A slept on Cheryl wow!

4. Let You

If 2019’s Let You is the last note we ever hear Cheryl sing, at least we ended on a BANG.

If there was justice in the world, this would still be number one now. The production is amazing – pure ear slapping electro in the vein of Robyn’s early 2010s stuff. It suits her so much. She should permanently sing over beats like this.

Video is gorgeous, choreography is great, chorus ascends when you think its done with but then it flicks to the “LET YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY BODAY”. It’s classic Cheryl!

3. Parachute

Okay, turns out I previously lied. THIS is her best video.

Everything about the video here just amplifies the already great song to another level. It’s pure cinema, and Derek Hough is in it doing some gorg tango choreo with Newcastle’s finest (they were mid-fling at the time, chemistry is FIZZING).

Back to the song – it’s a complete classic from start to fin. Chorus is so catchy and her delivery being so staccato and one note feels so dramatic and iconic. The marching band drum beat that guides the whole song is so theatrical. Can’t believe this didn’t get to number one.

2. Fight For This Love

It’s actually quite hard to grasp how much of a cultural reset this song is.

It is so legendary that if you sang a few lines to your nan she’d be able to sing along. The video is so iconic that you could dress up as any outfit from it and everyone would know you were doing Cheryl fancy dress.

If this song wasn’t as good as it is, we may never have had any other entries on this list. Cheryl would have been written off as the latest in a long line of girl band members trying their hand at a solo career that flopped and then faded into obscurity. But not our Chez. She was the nation’s sweetheart due to her tenure as judge on The X Factor, and released a song THIS GOOD at the most perfect time.

The melody is perfection. The prechorus is delicious. The star power is undeniable.

1. Call My Name

Can you think of a single person who wouldn’t be ecstatic if Call My Name came on in the club? If you can, cut them out your life.

Call My Name is an unrelenting, Calvin Harris penned and produced EDM banger. It kicks in and doesn’t stop kicking till you’ve danced your arse off and sweat is pouring out of every orifice. You’d be hard pressed to find a better workout song released in the last 10 years.

Cheryl sounds so at home on this track even though it was a completely new musical direction for her. The ahhh ahhh bits are so lush, the leg popping choreography in the video was imitated in the bedrooms of the girls and gays up and down the UK for months and the replayability is next level.

Her best. And that’s that.