Ranking all of Kim Kardashian’s lines in the AHS trailer by how much they deserve an Oscar

You might be forgiven for being aware of this news, because it’s safe to say the American Horror Story glory days are long behind us, but AHS Delicate is releasing in a matter of days and will star none other than Kim Kardashian. I know, I know. It’s actually kind of high camp. None more so was this confirmed when this week we got our first glimpse of the trailer, and saw Kim Kardashian in action amongst her co-stars Emma Roberts and Cara Delevingne. It’s perfect. It’s gorgeous. So I’m going to do a ranking of all the Kim Kardashian lines in the American Horror Story trailer by how much they deserve an Oscar. Obviously.

10. ‘Enjoy this’

A simple call to arms for the girlies who like a little treat. Nothing remarkable but she’s not wrong.

9. ‘Focus on the good’

It’s giving motivational speaker. This is exactly the kind of line I’d expect Kim Kardashian to say when playing a woman named Siobhan. She could not look like less of a Siobhan if she tried.

8. ‘Maybe they’re the problem’

Queen of taking not even a crumb of accountability.

7. ‘Everybody loves a pregnant woman in a pretty dress’

The silliest of all the Kim Kardashian American Horror Story lines so far is this random quip. Who says this? What does it even mean? No one knows, but props to you diva for delivering it with a crumb of cba gusto.

6. ‘You could have the world’

Especially poignant out of the gobs of one of the richest women in the world. Maybe I could, Kim, maybe I could.

5. ‘You are an A-list star now’

This one is seriously giving the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game vibes and I really feel like she’s gonna snatch some micro transactions right out of my wallet when I hear her say it. Camp.

4. ‘Do whatever I say to get it’

Yes mommy!

3. ‘You have a peculiar penchant for turning dreams into nightmares’

Erm… Sorry? Shakespeare, is that you? This prose has me shaking.

2. ‘Do you want an Oscar?’

Well if we’re in the business of chucking them out, do you want one for this stunning performance?

1. ‘Do you want it as much as a baby?’

Gagged Emma Roberts a bit.

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@harrisonjbrock

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