Boojum is overrated and you know it

It’s hardly money well spent. Whenever someone at Queen’s is asked: “I need a big feed where should I go?” or “a girl on Tinder wants to meet me, where should I take her?” or “I’ve just been hit by a bus, who should I ring?” The answer will always be Boojum.

If there was a starter pack for fitting in at Queen’s, an unhealthy obsession with what is essentially an overly expensive fast food shop would top the list. Why? It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Boojum, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with their burritos. It’s okay, it’s just not that great.

Boojum is not love, Boojum is not life

The cult surrounding it is unjustified and it’s gone too far – what is all the fuss about?

Botanic Avenue is full of average priced, mediocre tasting food. Food that doesn’t taste too bad considering it’s cost you a fiver but you’re also not going to complain about the hairs you found in it because the waiting staff are terrifying. Boojum also has it’s pros and cons. Yes burritos are the takeout of choice but unless it’s for a singalong with Gene Kelly, I’m not about to stand in the rain for 20 minutes.

The line outside Boojum is the most depressing queue in Belfast, it’s even more depressing than the queue for Thompson’s. Every single person stands there with the facial expression of someone whose just had an epiphany about how shit this idea was. It’s like a gloomy outtake from Snow White – Grumpy, Sleepy, Dickhead, they’re all there. There is no logical reason why any sane person would willingly stand in the pissing rain for 20 minutes just so they can scoff down their lukewarm £7 burrito. It’s pathetic.

Hello from the outside

The hype of Boojum is the best part. It’s a conversation starter, a guaranteed upvote on Yik Yak, but when you let yourself get to the point where it’s your regular and the staff stop pretending to remember you and actually start to recognise your face – that’s when you know the obsession needs to stop.

This is because the idea of Boojum is far better than the reality. No one actually wants to live off burritos, if that were the case you’d go to Kurrito instead – the food is cheaper and they don’t make you wait, inner monologuing to yourself outside. But no, it’s the statement, the competition of those money-draining loyalty stamps.

What is wrong with you sheeple

When we see you walking around McClay in your Boojum addict shirt, we just think you’re sad. It costs up to £700 to bag yourself a shirt. Do you really have nothing better to spend your money on? Are you really happy for everyone to know you’ve queued up for a Boojum that many times? You may have won a shirt but you’ve definitely lost at life.

Sure, the new huge-um on Botanic will be the cathedral of Boojums, and you may discover the revolution of being indoors, but it still isn’t going to become acceptable to act as though you live for the place anytime soon.

So just stop – it’s embarrassing.

Shakespeare said a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but would a blind test of a Boojum burrito still taste as good? No. It wouldn’t.