Police stumped as tree leaves

West Midlands Police have been left baffled after the mysterious disappearance of Selly Oak’s eponymous tree.

In the early hours of Monday morning it was reported that the stump of Selly Oak’s namesake had mysteriously disappeared. Torn from the earth of Selly Oak Park, the remains of the tree felled in 1909 were reported missing by local Ash Crabapple.

“It’s a complete disgrace. I did a double take before I finally twigged what had happened.”

Police are said to be branching out enquiries with a sturdy line of questioning, but after this new bizarre theft, some residents have been left feeling that their bark is worse than their bite.

One outraged dog walker said “They’re complete saps. They just seem to totally bend to these delinquents”.

Police remain un-rustled however, maintaining they will root around for information until Selly Oak is reunited with one of the most important elements of its history.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of Selly Oak’s most historic landmark, you are urged to contact the police immediately.

Finally, if yew don’y enjoy a-corny set of puns you should leaf. I’m getting sycamore of them as I type.