SEX SURVEY: we’re the second-most frigid students in the country

The average Birmingham student has shagged FIVE people, our extensive sex survey reveals.

We are well BELOW the national average of nine lifetime sexual partners, and we rank a paltry 27th in a table of 28 universities.

Universities with 100 or more respondents

A total of 12,708 students across 36 unis filled in our national questionnaire – and by golly the answers will get you hot under the collar.

Oxford Brookes students are the most prolific in the country – the polys bang an average of 14 people.

Coming in second are Plymouth with 11.5 sexual partners. We’ve heard it’s wet in the south-west at the moment, but Jesus!

Completing the ménage à trois at the top of the table are Liverpool – the city’s students putting Suarez and Sturridge to shame with their finishing.

The guys shag more than the girls – the average male student has slept with 10 people to the average female’s 7.7. If you don’t think you can have .7 of a shag, you’ve clearly never taken a rugby boy home.

A quarter of girls lie about the number of people they’ve slept with – 20% say they’ve slept with fewer than they have, whereas 5% bump their number up.

Of the 22% of boys who lie, 12% increase their number, compared to 10% who drop it. Yet again machismo bullshit winning through…

As with all Tab surveys, we urge you to take these results with a pinch of salt. Look out for parts two and three in the coming days, when we explore STIs and sexuality.

Want to join us for a cold shower after taking all this in? Email [email protected] to get involved.