Degree snobs are the worst kind of student

You’ll meet a whole array of people at uni, but the absolute worst are degree snobs.

Usually found lurking in or around a science building (they are occasionally found in Arts, but not often), the degree snobs tend to travel in large packs. No one is entirely sure why they find safety in numbers. Perhaps it’s because they’re weak when alone – or maybe it’s because they need a group of at least 10 of them to actually form a fully-fledged personality.

On campus they usually keep themselves to themselves, rarely venturing outside their comfort zones of dreary buildings and discussing the latest lecture on Lagrangian and Hamiltonian Mechanics (we don’t know what it is either).

In their natural habitat, they’re mostly fine. It’s when you, the humble student, have to engage with them in the wilderness that trouble rears its ugly head.

You’re safe here

Whether you’re trying to have a chilled one in the Soak, or house partying circa 2009, the degree snob will take whatever opportunity they can to constantly remind you why what they’re doing is far superior to what you are.

They ruin the pub, and they make house parties unbearable. Luckily, they’re powerless in clubs, as the increased volume serves perfectly to drown them out. They will talk at you for hours as they tell you why their science degree is far more useful in life than your lowly BA. After all, as they find it necessary to remind you every 20 minutes, science “is the future”.

They preach to you about all the job opportunities they will get, question how reading a book is of any real use, and generally try to make you feel as thick as possible.

I don’t need you, books are my friends

The problem is, you can’t argue back. Degree snobs are so narrow-minded and stubborn, that no matter what you say they will firmly stand their ground, ignorantly proclaiming their degree is “better” than yours.

The result? You get so annoyed at these snobs that the pub trip or party you’re attending is ruined, and you spend the rest of it bitterly waiting for the moment you can exit and rant to your coursemates about the absolute idiots you just had to share oxygen with.

Unfortunately, there is no way real way to win with a degree snob. You stand up for your course, and all it does is piss you off even more. If you just sit back and try not rise to it, then you feel you’ve let your course down and that they’ve somehow won.

The only way to deal with the anger, really, is to take solace in a few simple facts. You, non-degree snob, you definitely have more personality than they do. Your chances of getting laid are far higher than theirs and, one day, someone won’t take their crap anymore and they will (finally) get punched.

Dear degree snobs, we hate you

Go home, guys… you’re pissing everybody off.