Please stop telling me about your diet

We all have one of those annoying friends who feels the need to keep us constantly updated on their eating habits. If you don’t think you have a friend like this, it’s probably you.

If you want to lose weight or tone up that’s great, good for you. Just stop telling everyone all about it.

These incessant calorie-counters insist on documenting their every meal: if a day goes by without pictures of healthy food, or their latest gym outfit on their Snapchat story, it’s a small miracle.

Oh shut up

For some reason, they also justify anything slightly unhealthy they eat, saying: “I’m having this snack now but I’m going to the gym later so it’s okay”, despite the fact you’ve never actually made any judgemental comments about their food before.

Not only is this behaviour tiresome at the best of times, but hell hath no fury like a hungry dieter. There are few things more off-putting than feeling a glare of hatred directed towards you, as you sheepishly tuck into your Domino’s pizza.

And woe betide you if you point out you never actually agreed to go on a diet with them. They’ll snap at you for eating chocolate in their presence, and guilt trip you for not going to the gym but still tucking into that packet of crisps.

The death stare

Even worse than this are the people who calorie-count for you. We really don’t need to know how fattening each meal is, we just want to enjoy our dinner in peace.

These people are prone to snide remarks like “didn’t you have a desert yesterday too?”, but deliver them in the most casual voice they can manage, so you can’t even get mad at them.

Just leave us alone and go back to your diet in peace.