Should you break up with bae when you start uni?

Nothing compares 2 U

9 years ago

Guides

We went around asking Brookes students what they thought about whether monogamy is worth all the trouble.

Do you cut loose from your small town honey and welcome the world of one night stands and wild hook ups? Do you stay loyal? Or do you just take it all in your stride, embracing the potential possibility of new relationships, or a future of being forever alone.

Nina, Florence and Sasha, Art Foundation

Sasha said she’s still with her boyfriend long-distance, ”It’s difficult because I miss him, but not because I’m tempted by other guys”.

Nina is still with her boyfriend. ”I lived in Oxford before anyway, so it’s not very difficult, I see him every weekend so it’s fine.”

Florence said she thinks you should stay in your relationship when you come to uni. ”It depends. It’s not like you have to sleep around with people just because it’s uni.”

“It depends how strongly you feel about the person”, Sasha said.

Abby, James and Paola, Art Foundation

“I have a girlfriend that I’m still with”, said Abby, ”We got together about 3 or 4 months before we left, so when we first got together we thought we’d probably break up, but by the time we got here we were like, no friggin’ way! I’m going up to see her this weekend and it’s absolutely fine. When we went out clubbing once I could kind of understand why people might think that they’re missing out, but it doesn’t really matter because what you’ve got at home is better.”

James said: ”It’s about distance as well. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is in Hong Kong or something, I would definitely break up with my boyfriend or girlfriend in that situation. If it was only an hour or half an hour from where I live then no, I wouldn’t.”

”If the relationship is strong enough and you think you can manage the distance I wouldn’t break up with my boyfriend. If you’re not strong enough to resist the temptations of sex and making out then yeah, break up with them”, said Paola.

Colin, first year, Philosophy

” No, you shouldn’t be loose with sexuality and things like that. That’s my position.”

Suliman, first year, Politics and International Relations

”Well I depends, I came here with my girlfriend when I took my foundation course last year. It was alright at the beginning, but in the end we had to break up.”

Emily and Kerrise, third years, Animal Biology and Conservation and Biology

Emily said: ”When I started first year I didn’t have a boyfriend, I broke up with him because I was going to university. I broke up because I didn’t like him enough. If you like the person enough then obviously you’re going to stay with them.

” You need make sure you’re both on the same level and that you both like each other enough.”

Kerrise agree: ” I definitely think you shouldn’t break up with them just because you’re going to uni, but if you both go to different universities, or one of you doesn’t go to university it can be difficult because you definitely change as a person while you’re there.”

Alan, Max, Liam, Amalia, Hollie and Charlie

Max, first year, Politics and Business Management: ”I mean it happens a lot, but if you’re close to the person you’re with then I guess you can try and stay together. If it doesn’t work out just end it before, otherwise you could hurt someone. I know a lot of people who go to university who are in relationships and have been together for a while though, so it does work out on occasion.”

Charlie, first year, Politics and Business Management: ”Two of my flatmates broke up with their boyfriend and girlfriend literally after five days of being Freshers.”

Amalia, first year, Business Management and Politics: “The worst story is there was a couple, and the girl broke up with her boyfriend to go out with someone else. That was in my accommodation. If you’re happy with someone, try and make it work. But if you want to have fun at freshers, break up with your boyfriend. It depends what you define as ‘having a good time’. You don’t need to sleep around to have fun. Alan, did you have a girlfriend?”

Alan, first year, Business and Marketing Management: “So many people did, and I was like…why? Just don’t come to university with a girlfriend, it’s too difficult. But then, just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.”

Liam, first year, History: “Yeah I don’t really have much to say.”

Pauline and Ella

Pauline, Post-Grad, International Studies: “It’s all about how you feel about it yourself. If you yourself don’t feel as committed and you don’t feel like you’re going to make it through uni with a boyfriend then yes, by all means make a decision to break up. It all depends on you.”

Ella, third year, Fine Art: ”I think it really depends on the couple. Some people can go through university and it can really work, like some people even get couples’ flats rather than going into halls. I was going to do that in first year, get a couple flat. We broke up just before uni, and actually, looking back on it I’m very happy about that. I think in first year I wouldn’t have embraced making friends as much. But, I think if you move into halls and still have a boyfriend who’s not at the uni, then there’s no reason why having a boyfriend should distract from your experience.”

Angelin and Tom, first years, Law

”Well I’m actually married”, says Angelin, ” If you’re monogamous, you’re monogamous wherever you go. So it doesn’t matter if you’re at uni or in a night club or wherever you are.”

”I agree’, chimes Tom, ” I’m from a small town in the Isle of Wight, I have a girlfriend and we actually have a kid ourselves. I would never dream about it. I wouldn’t do it.”

”I don’t know about not dreaming about it!” adds Angelin, ” The thing is, I don’t think it’s very natural for humans to be completely monogamous, I can admit it. Say I’m walking down the street with my wife and there’s a handsome looking chap, I would not expect her to look away and not look at him. At the same time if there’s a really nice looking girl, well, she’d probably point her out to me actually.’

Bart, Ru, Ellie and Jasmine

Bart, first year, Business Marketing: ”I’ve got a girlfriend and I’m not really interested in anything else. I’m committed, I’m not interested in anyone else. I don’t struggle with it, even if girls are very pushy and come towards you, I’ll always reject that.”

Ru, first year, Architecture: ”I can’t speak from experience, I haven’t got a girlfriend. I’ve seen it work for people, going to university in relationships. Not for me though, I wouldn’t want to make the mistake. I think it can work.”

Ellie, first year, Business Marketing and French: “I’m not really looking for anything. I’ve come to uni, I’m having fun with my friends, but not that kind of fun. I think if you do it in the first week you might come across as an ‘easy girl’ ”

Jasmine, Business Marketing and International Relations: “I’m practically the same, I’m not the kind of girl who just sleeps around.”

Lauren Thompson