‘You don’t look gay though’: The struggles of being a lesbian in Cov

I’m going to be honest, being a first year in any new city is hard enough, but being a homosexual on top of that? Well it’s a nightmare, to say the least.

Rewind back to the first day of uni, September 24th, a juvenile homo stepping foot for the first time in Coventry, a city that I had never visited before and heard little about, I had no idea what to expect.

Don’t get me wrong, I was excited at the prospect of starting my classes, learning about the subject I was passionate about and meeting my “people” but as for dating potential and one night stands, and just meeting other gays, I was completely clueless.

And if you're LBGTQ+ too, chances are that you'll be able to relate. So, without further ado, welcome to my personally devised manifesto of all the mishaps you'll encounter as an LGBTQ+ student in Coventry.

Cov is so straight, like, insanely straight

As a lesbian in Cov, clubbing with your friends will consist of you helplessly flirting with very straight, very unavailable girls whilst getting drunk enough to make a fool out of yourself in the process. Sound familiar? Yeah, we've all been there.

Loads of straight girls are happy to experiment on a night out which is great, but let’s face it, bi-curiousness and being a sapphic goddess are on different ends of the spectrum and Lenin didn’t convert to communism until after he read the Communist Manifesto so…

Non White + LGBTQ+ = Token Ethic Gay

If you're a non-white gay student it's even harder. I'm the token ethnic gay of my all-straight all-white friendship group (I adore my mates, but they are the DEFINITION of white; to put things into perspective, one of them considers soy sauce an appropriate seasoning), it becomes a lot harder to meet people that you can relate and connect with, which I'm sure all my non-white gang can relate to.

The Yard is NOT the embodiment of LGBTQ+ culture

Let's just get this straight (lol) – I love drag. RuPaul is an OG and that’s a fact. But what I do have an issue with is the minimisation of LGBTQ+ culture into male drag and only drag.

The Yard is a great space for a night out in which you need a laugh and a little less heteronormativity which is always great, but that’s not all there is to LGBTQ+ culture; it’s a huge spectrum which isn’t represented at The Yard and the lack of representation only perpetuates the stereotypical assumptions about LGBTQ+ and also drag kings and queens. This brings me to the issue of there being little to no exclusively LGBTQ+ places in the city.

There are no LGBTQ+ spaces. Like, none

Something that I’ve also noticed within the LGBTQ+ community here in Cov is the minimal desire to go out out – for example clubbing. I don’t know if this is directly proportional to being LGBTQ+ or if all the people I’ve met are introverts but I think part of the problem is the fact that there is little to no LGBTQ+ culture in this city. Sure, there’s maybe the LGBTQ+ society, but let’s face it, the whole concept seems a little forced and it's not for everyone.

It’s great if you’re a newbie and need a support system to rely on when taking your first gay baby steps (gayby steps, if you will) but that’s not me. I noticed this when I walked into the LGBTQ+ meeting wearing Adidas sweats and a Champion hoodie, with my mate flexing his AirPods and everyone else was clad in plaid shirts and an overwhelming amount of rainbow-inspired paraphernalia.

Other than The Yard, there isn’t really a space, whether it be a club or a bar, exclusively for gay men and women to meet and mingle in a setting that isn’t orchestrated by the uni or in some sketchy alleyway. That makes finding each other hard. Compared to cities like London, Brighton and Manchester, the gay scene in Coventry is honestly abysmal.

We need more diversity

Being able to be and express ourselves isn’t something we should have to think about or compromise on when choosing where to go to uni; we choose a uni which we love and for most people who are straight, the being yourself part comes naturally afterward, and it should be the same for LGBTQ+ people.

But unfortunately it’s not like that here in Cov – in a city with such a huge non-white demographic, it’s easy to assume that it’s brimming with diversity, but in reality that’s far from being the case. Don’t get me wrong, I like being in a city where white is the minority because it means that you don’t always stand out in a room full of people, just because you’re darker than them, but there’s more to diversity than just colour.

Granted, Cov is a small city that’s packed with people and it’s a challenge to cater to every social demographic with regards to entertainment and nightlife. But if there is space for bashment, then there is space for rainbows…(gay afrobeats rave, anyone?). If we want Cov to be awarded the City of Culture 2021, we need to step up and include all the LGBTQ+ people in what we call “culture”. A little more inclusivity would be much appreciated.