I did a deep dive into the weirdest things listed on Coventry Craiglist

Let me keep it real for a second, when I went searching for jobs in the depths of Cov Craiglist, I knew I was going to see some very weird things. This isn't Indeed or Totaljobs. Honestly, after reviewing the job offers, I'm a little concerned that I may be facilitating some creeps who are definitely sex traffickers.

Oh, and there's always the question of "Should I be endorsing a dude who wants to stare at you while you drink coffee stark naked? Or am I being a bad feminist if I assume you don't have autonomy of your own body and therefore, the inherent right to want to sit on a 46 year old dudes face for cash?"

Or maybe I'm being too serious and I just wanted to spend my Monday evening browsing through job ads that make me want to run away and join a Nunnery for fear of all the men in the West Midlands. Kind of like why you'd watch a horror movie or any episode of Black Mirror.

These are some of the most interesting (and questionable) ones I've found.

Good at stalking? Found a job for you

Okay GI Joe, I see you. Looks like you can advertise your "catch your man with another hoe" skills on craigslist.

Category: Weird, but go off

No judgement. I just want to talk

Honestly. What the fuck? Does that drink come with a side of roofie? What's the deal here?

079 me. We need to have a conversation. Stat.

Discussion point 1: Why can't you shave your own balls?

Discussion point 2: Dude just wants to spoon. "Nothing strange" sksksk.

Discussion point 3: Rumpelstiltskin, if that's you, blink twice.

Look at this absolute gem

I mean, okay Sir

Sounds like an interesting episode of Euphoria to me.

Category: "Cleaning jobs"

Pull your gloves on and scrub-a-dub-dub

And your heels. Because apparently that's a MAJOR requirement of being a cleaner. Sounds fishy to me.

Category: Erm, actually, sign me up

Student friendly? We like

You can offer to walk people's dogs? What? Absolutely yes.

Also, the English Lit students are SWEATING.

Category: Cut the cameras. Deadass

And I oop

Category: Kind of super cool jobs

Aristotle or Quentin Tarantino? Take your pick

Are you a Philosophy student looking to work from home? Holler at Alexandre, he wants to throw some cash at you.

As for the other one, watching movies online (like I do anyway) and getting paid for it sounds kind of awesome.

YES

So I'm essentially getting paid to be extremely critical of Wattpad novels? Where do I sign?

Conclusion

Yes, there were several men willing to pay people to shave their pubes and there are several more looking for submissive house slaves. This is not a Fifty Shades Book, Jamie Dornan, get off Craiglist PLEASE.

There were also a couple jobs that wanted a 'Barcs' account and felt the need to add '(totally legal)' on the end. Definitely a fraud boi.

In conclusion, unless you don't mind exploring the inside of a dirty white van unexpectedly, please just go back to Indeed.