Disco Pants

Just when you thought you’d escaped the embarrassing awkwardness of high-school discos, a reminder comes back to haunt you. Disco Pants. Now out-ranking the jegging and tregging, these form flattering bottoms appear in an array of colours that will reawaken fond memories of glitter balls and S-Club 7. (Sarcasm is mandatory when reading this article.)

Jessie J demonstrates how to do the DP.

But if you want to wow the dance floor, there are certain moves you have to follow:

DOs:

1. Have an amazing booty.  If you’ve got it, flaunt it!

2. Choose the right colour. Fluorscent orange. Just no.

3. Heels. Especially if stunted in the leg length department.

4. Reconsider your fashion ethos.

DONTs:

1. Basically, if you don’t look like this….

then don’t DP it.

2. Go all together with PVC clad legs. It’s too much for the guys to handle! And you’re bound to feel less sexy than your blonde best friend with the JLo butt and washboard abs.

3. If you have someone special in mind, you may regret squeezing into the DP….

4. Try and revive ONJ’s Sandy. Dannys are hard to come by in Edinburgh.

“You’re the one that I want”

So if you’re feeling brave and not afraid to show off every lump and bump then why not give the DP a go?

N.B. Long legs and tight bums are not guaranteed. Pre-wearing gym sessions are advisable.