Edinburgh Students Rack Up Over A Million Pounds in Library Fine Payments

The Tab has done some digging into how much money Edinburgh University makes from library fines each year. Turns out, since the 07/08 academic year, the University has made a whopping £1,157,774.96 from 457,025 students. So far this year, there have been 37,444 students paying late fines making a total of £110,676.46. There are still 17,344 of us with outstanding debts worth £39,934.48. Say what?!

So here are a few options The Tab suggests that the uni could have spent the money on, just to put this whole thing into perspective…

166,826.36 Bottles of Buckfast at £6.94 each.

AKA ‘Wreck the Hoose Juice’

A Scottish uni student classic and enough money for 5 bottles for each student at Edinburgh. That’s five purple vomit piles per person to be displayed on the streets of Edinburgh, happy days.

7, 236,093 packs of Lidl Instant Noodles at 16p a pack

Who needs a balanced diet anyway?

Another student staple and enough to feed all of us for 226 days.

2,894 Months of Rent for a Flat in Marchmont

241 years in mouse infested, sub-zero conditions. Who’s game?

One of the more expensive areas to live with your student loan. But with the revenue the library has they could rent a flat for 241 years.

5,817 Classic wax jackets from Barbour at £199 each

Raspberry chinos and shotguns sold separately

They could save 5817 students from the humiliation of showing up to their lectures in jackets that contain no wax at all. Can you imagine?

308,740 £3.75 Vanilla Spice Lattes from Starbs 

Perhaps a few cups of caffeine would help more people remember to return their books to the hub before 10.30am

Everyone’s incredibly overpriced, winter favourite. The library could have bought 9.6 sought-after white cups for each student, the perfect accessory for when trying to look purposeful and busy when strutting round the fourth floor in your Barbour jacket.

22.5 Range Rover Sports worth £51,500 each

Would beat walking to Kings Buildings in the rain

Anyone fancy 22 and a half Range Rover Sports to ferry them back and forwards from halls? Don’t mind if we do.

1,169,469.66 downloads of Blurred Lines for 99p

I see those blurred fines, I know you don’t want them…

Every Edinburgh student’s favourite song could be downloaded over a million times but obviously not played in any university venues as all women would take immediate offence and petition to make EUSA a feminist organisation or something…