Everything that will happen to you in Freshers’ Week

Freshers’ Week is a magical time where one discovers many things about themselves; mostly how much you can actually drink at pre-drinks before you vomit in the taxi on the way to the club.

For those of you who are new to university, here are some things that are more than likely going to happen to you. So no need call your mum saying that you weren’t prepared for Freshers’ – we are here for you.

You and all of your new friends having a blast (Photo credits: David Wilkinson / EMPIRICAL)

You will lose everything important

It happens to the best of us. You’ve just got out of the taxi, your hair and makeup is on fleek and you’re feeling good. You get to the front of the queue and suddenly need to show your I.D. – not today. Taxi’s are a graveyard for I.D.’s, purses, and phones. Or, you left it at your new best friend’s pantry and can’t actually remember their name, or what halls they were in to try and retrieve it. Chances are you’ll do it time and time again, and be on your third provisional licence by January.

(Photo credits: Ben Glasgow / BGM)

You will sleep with someone that you definitely shouldn’t

This is the warning that you always get: don’t shag someone on your corridor. DON’T DO IT. Chances are you will bump into them every morning for the rest of the year, and be forced to acknowledge that night where you had too many £1 sambuca shots that made Alex seem like the hottest thing ever; in the cold light of day, he really isn’t.

(Photo credits: Neil Stewart)

Gather lots of free pens that will get you through the next four years of essays and exams

The Freshers’ fair is a fantastic way to cut costs on your stationary bill. You will be sorted for at least the next two years.

Tell your Freshers’ Week mates that you should live together next year

It’s Thursday of Freshers’ Week and you are starting to get a grip on this whole uni concept. You’ve made a couple of friends that aren’t completely abhorrent and you’ve stopped texting your mum four times a day. However, you’re starting to think of the long term. You want to lock down a good group of friends. Obviously the best way to do this is with a binding contract.

Take your time to figure out who your actual friends are, not just people who are friends of convenience.

You’ll sign up for 20 different societies

When you graduate in four years time you will still be receiving emails from the Cheese Appreciation Society.

Exploit your overdraft

You will spend all of your money trying to impress your new friends by buying them many rounds of Jaegerbombs. In reality, it is just really, really expensive and the start of the slippery slope of which is the student overdraft.

Cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend that you left behind

You’ve tried the long distance thing, you feel like you are living different lives and slowly you realise that it isn’t going to work. You have met someone at uni who understands you, knows your new friends and is interested in you. You tell your significant other that it is the distance. But in reality you and Dave have started sleeping together and Darren means nothing to you anymore.

Who gives a shit about Darren anyway? (Photo credits: Neil Stewart)