We can all agree the Megabus is never worth it

Megabus, love it or hate it, it’s part of our culture.  Bus down to London for a tenner, who could complain. I have nothing against the bus company. Megabus is great for students but you can’t deny that, other than price, there’s not a lot going for it.

You accept that you won’t enjoy your journey in blissful comfort. With no sockets, zero leg room and non-existent personal space, it’s not amazing. At the same time, when something’s so cheap, you just close your eyes and pray the journey will be over soon.

There’s times though, when it’s just too much. Taking the bus home to Inverness usually takes four hours (which is a mission in itself). Recently, it’s taken longer… much longer.

A variety of problems slowed us down. Unlike in school where the coolest people sat at the back of the bus, this cannot be said of the Megabus. A lovely group of men sat there drinking the entire way. They didn’t make it to Perth before they were stumbling down the bus falling over, shouting at the driver and passengers. On asking them to be quiet, the woman next to me was threatened with a knife. Turns out the knife didn’t actually exist, but when you’re trying to enjoy your music, such… disturbances… can be a little bit unsettling.

This whole incident resulted in a ‘quick’ (Megabus talk for two hours) stopover until police arrived. In a completely unrelated situation, a woman and her boyfriend were having a full blown domestic, which soon became the soundtrack for the remainder of the journey. I’m talking serious screaming, swearing- I’m surprised one of them didn’t pull out a knife to be honest. All rounded up by another few hours of traffic stuck on the Forth Road Bridge… oh and a change of driver because the first had to give a police statement.

I vowed never to do this journey by bus again. Yet last month, feeling very skint- I decided to give my soul up to Megabus for a second time. Not a wise plan. The toilet was blocked after an hour and as the result started over-flowing one woman fainted at the stench. A number of stops had to be made at the side of the road to allow people to escape and get some fresh air. The bus stank strongly of urine the entire trip, there was no comment, apology or explanation from the driver. When we arrived in Inverness I found my bag, stored in the luggage area, was soaked in urine.

Thanks Megabus.

you’ll never see a Megabus toilet this clean

The toilets seems to be a running theme when it comes to Megabus nightmares. It’s pretty grim when you’re on the 4am bus back from Glasgow and someone is so drunk they can’t make it to the toilet in time. Cue a reeking bus and some gagging passengers. It’s equally bad when someone throws up, the flush is broken (again), the air con isn’t working and it’s 35 degrees.

These are just some of the experiences of the seasoned Megabus rider.

Yes, they’re super cheap and really convenient. Yes when you’re a student, you’d rather spend money on a night out than an expensive train fare – but really Megabus is a uniquely horrific experience and is never worth it.