It has been 18 months since the last one before the clubs closed in March 2020 – but it is bigger than ever.
For those of you freshers and second years who have never had the joy of reading Clubbers of the Week before, every week The Edinburgh Tab trawl through Edi’s club pictures to find the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.
Scroll through to try and find yourself or your pals – and be sure to tag them in the comments.
Stunner of the week
Winner
Rocking the red
Runners up
Check(er board) her out!
A covid safe cutie
Friends who queue for Subway together stay together
Made even more stunning by the drink in each hand
New AW21 trend incoming: colour coordinating your look and your drink
Creepers of the week
Winner
“Hey guys, I saw you at the pantry pres at Ewing how are youuuuuu”
Runners up
That face when you need a pee but your path is blocked by some girls taking a photo
“After three say creeper…”
When your friends won’t stop asking the photographer for pics
“those two girls are still behind me aren’t they?!”
Third wheel of the week
Winner
When your pal pulls the girl you’ve been grafting all night
Runners up
If two is company and three is a crowd, then four is having a perfectly good squad photo barged in on by a random
Just the two of us (and some randomer)
The Flare lurker is back!
The hand is his mate telling him to stop ruining the pretty girls’ club photos
Wanker of the week
Winner
Okay, who of you let him out in that ~interesting~ shirt
Runners up
What makes a person look at a piece of plastic spitting out fire and think: “I’m gonna put that in my mouth”
Why are you wearing sunglasses in the dark, my guy
Again with the flaming plastic in your mouth, jeez
We get it, you like VKs
Hero of the week
Winner
Strawpedo level 2759
Runners up
This guy hasn’t been in a club in 18 months and is living his best life
Not all heroes wear capes, some buy Hooch for the whole club
Lick my lollipop 😉
Down it fresher
Heroine of the week
Winner
Not pictured, her knees giving out in 30 seconds
Runners up
Put your hands up if you’re having the time of your life
Posing for the camera and not spilling a drop, a skill
What products do you use on your hair, DM me!
Making the bold decision whether or not to queue for Subway
WTF of the week
Winner
This isn’t what freshers sharking means mate
Runners up
The arm wrestle, the weird pose, the glass that’s about to fall off – a lot of WTF for one small pic
“In my expert opinion they’re an A cup”
This one is a real head-scratcher
“Babe, you’ve gotta stop pretending to be a bird in the middle of clubs – we’ve spoken about this”
Mutant of the week
Winner
TFW you match your beer
Runners up
Yeah mate we’re confused too
She Viva La Cowgate-ed a bit too hard
Look mum no hands
Eyes on the prize (a venom!)
TFW you start leaking vodka
Album covers of the week
Winner
Jolene on her way to steal your man
Runners up
Murano’s answer to Mumford and Sons
99 problems but the moves ain’t one
“Alexa play Shake It by Metro Station”
Coming to an edgy Berlin techno club near you
Unhappy clubbers of the week
Winner
“Blink five times if you want to go home”
Runners up
When you see your friend who’s a nine getting with a three
“grab your coat we’re going”
When you used to come to Subway religiously pre-pandemic now all the freshers have turned up and made it busy
When you spill your venom and your friends won’t share
When you hate Hive but your friends drag you against your will
When you’ve got Distrikt at 1am but your Chancellors cleaners are coming at 9am
No paps x
Shark of the week
Winner
Who said romance is dead
Runners up
Cheeky rascal x
Green to make the boys lean
*slow dancing to Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom! by the Vengaboys*
“So yeah, the reason we can’t just print more money is…”
Squad of the week
Winner
2021’s answer to the Spice Girls
Runners up
Gals, gals, gals
Getting wavy
I’ve never seen four best friends looking like they’re going to the same place
The girl in the stripy top didn’t get the blue jeans memo
Who doesn’t love a neon sign
The bois
Best of the rest
Someone’s happy to be clubbing again
Must’ve been a funny joke
Raaaaahhhh where’s my vaccy
On her way to steal your girl
So how many hooches did you order?
Coming to a cinema near you, Subway: The Movie
Someone loves her Monzo
Bring your mum to Hive night
A-ok
Love Wednesdays – the Cupcakke remix
Okay we’ve officially run out of captions now
Image credits:
Neil Stewart (Tamagotchi Tuesday)
Kealan Bond (Flare Monday and Love Wednesday)
Thomas Michael (Hive)
James Gourlay (Ice Wednesday, Distrikt Monday, Rascals)