From drunk cigs to prosecco pres: The 13 signs you’re not a yah but you’re yah-adjacent

If you’re being expected to spend four years at Edinburgh Uni surrounded by yahs, it’s pretty inevitable that you will pick up some Edin-yah traits. As much as you might protest every time someone calls you a yah, they might not be right but you know deep down they’re not exactly wrong either.

It’s tricky being a yah in some ways but definitely not in others. In other words, you’re yah-adjacent: not posh or Pollock-y enough to be a fully fledged yah but you’ve absorbed some yah-ness – maybe from breathing in slightly too much cig smoke outside Main Lib.

From begrudgingly owning a pair of flares to secretly loving the Morningside Waitrose, here are the 12 signs that you’re not a yah but you’re yah-adjacent.

1. You don’t smoke properly but you’re partial to the occasional drunk ciggie in the club smoking area 

It’s two am and you’re either not feeling the tunes or getting too hot – then your pal suggests nipping out for a fag. You don’t usually smoke but like Pam from Gavin and Stacey you “just fancy one”. You don’t smoke enough for that husky “pack a day” yah voice but you’re always that person going up to randoms in the smoking area at WhyNot and begging for a cig and a lighter. 

2. You either were in Pollock and hated every second or you were in a different halls but were considered the poshest person there

If you were in Pollock, you spent an entire year rolling your eyes everytime someone unironically said the word “rah” or asked where their “baccy” was. You had an early panic that you wouldn’t fit in with all the posh-os then slowly but surely found your people to eat dinner with in the JMCC. 

If you weren’t in Pollock, you were probably in somewhere equally boujee like Salisbury or Brae. Otherwise you chose one of the Cowgate halls to be stumbling distance to Three Sisters and for the ~duttiness~. However, you were probably the poshest one in your flat and your flatmates would constantly mock how many Deliveroos you ordered or the fancy items in your weekly food shop (because mozzarella pearls are essential – duh). 

3. You resist all the yah fashion trends for a bit but eventually give in 

When flares first were a thing you loathed them with every fibre of your being, but then you begrudgingly tried a pair on and were stunned that they made you look taller – and made your bum look incredible. You definitely dismissed sweater vests as a fad last year but now own at least three. Again, you wouldn’t be seen dead in a pair of Fila Disruptors but you have a pair of chunky Converse to make up for it. 

4. You’re drink at choice of pres is either prosecco or branded vodka

You think anyone who drinks Grey Goose is a mug for paying forty quid just to put it in a mixer and not taste it. But you think supermarket own-brand tastes like paint-stripper so you settle for a midrange bottle of Glen’s or Smirnoff – maybe Absolut if it’s on offer.

Equally, you enjoy sipping a cheeky glass of prosecco at pres to be ~that bitch~ but would never spend more than seven quid on a bottle .

5. You own some designer clothes but make sure to tell everyone you meet they’re from TK Maxx

That vintage Ralphie sweatshirt probably still has the label showing the £70 discount. You hope that absolves you of yah status or judgment by strangers. 

6. You proudly shop exclusively at Lidl but still make sure to stock up on Waitrose essentials when visiting home

Your parents probably took you to M&S in Fresher’s for your first weekly shop – or ordered you an Ocado delivery. But now you’ve had to grow up and manage your own money, you realise five pound stonebaked oven pizzas and Duchy Original truffle tortellini aren’t financially sustainable dinner options.

Instead, you’ve become a pro at going to Lidl or Aldi – and never manage to spend more than £20 no matter what nonsense you pick up in the middle aisle. 

7. You didn’t go to a school that’s famous in Pollock circles, but you inevitably find friends-of-friends at every social gathering

You meet someone whose school you’ve heard of and spend the next half hour asking: “Do you know..”

There are no more than three degrees of separation between all private school kids – usually through someone you’ve either fallen out with, played rugby against, or shagged. 

8. Your friends drag you to techno nights but Hive and Big Cheese are your guilty pleasure

You realised pretty early on at uni that cheesy clubbing isn’t “cool” by yah standards and that to fit in you’ll have to suck it up and go to a techno night on Cowgate every once in a while. But, you’re the first one to suggest going to Hive if the queue is too long and you deliberately push for Saturday night drinks in Teviot to your pals knowing it’ll end up at Cheese. 

9. You’re from London or the South East of England – but a rubbish bit 

You hate when people ask you where you’re from because the conversations go the same way every time. You tell them London. They ask you whereabouts, picturing your home life is like something out of Made In Chelsea. When you’ve rattled through your excuses (“um like on the outskirts”, “like sorta near…”, “it’s just 15 minutes on the train from…”) you finally have to come clean that you’re from somewhere a bit shit like Croydon, Watford, or Bromley. 

Bonus points if you’re technically from Surrey but not the boujee bit. 

10. You’ve taken coke and ket a couple of times but didn’t get the hype

A mate offered you a bump in a club toilets and you thought: “Fuck it”. But all that happened was half your face went a bit numb and tingly. The nasal drip also ~was not a vibe~.

Seems like you won’t be joining the gurning hordes anytime soon s0 back to the mid range vodka it is.

11. You love Marchmont more than life itself 

New Town looked like a fun place to live but it was a bit too far for you, Newington was too busy, and Brunstfield seemed a bit too grown up. So, you moved into the student utopia between The Meadows and The Grange at the start of second year and never left. After all, it’s got everything you’d ever need in a perfectly shaped rectangle and it’s so close to campus you can see Main Lib from your bedroom window. 

12. You inevitably pick up yah slang despite insisting it’s ironic

You endlessly mock the bizzare mix of public school-isms and out of date London slang that can be heard from the distinctive voices of Hugo and Minty. But slowly words like “dutty” and “bevved” seep into your vocabulary – ironically of course. Your standard text responses become calm, fairs, and ygm. The time you unironically used the world “blem” in the club smoking area triggered a mini identity crisis at 1am. 

The day you catch yourself saying something that wouldn’t be out of place on @pollockhallschat, you might have to admit to yourself it’s not ironic anymore

13. Your kitchen is full of fancy utensils you never use but your parents insisted on buying

Your parents took you to John Lewis in Freshers to stock up on essentials such as a garlic mincer, cafetière and, of course, a Le Creuset. You tell yourself it’s not as bad as a Nespresso machine or a NutriBullet, but you have to admit your kitchen looks more like it belongs to a middle aged wine mum than a student. Bonus points if you have an array of wine paraphernalia – including corkscrew and bottle stopper – that will definitely never be used for your Echo Falls.

Recommended related articles by this writer

• Best dressed at the library: Midterms edition

• Here are 30 Edi student ‘Never Have I Evers’ that you’ve definitely done

• Edinburgh Hive vs Glasgow Hive: A scientific study into which is better?