How to survive a long-distance relationship at university, according to Edinburgh students

‘Does Bruntsfield to Marchmont count as a long-distance relationship?’

2 years ago

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One of the first things people tell you when you move to university is that your school relationship won’t last. In fact, they probably even tell you how you should break up before you go to university and not even bother trying a long distance relationship.

Despite these reassuring words, many Edinburgh students start first year still in a relationship, even though their significant other is living miles away.

Anyone who’s ever tried to have a LDR will you tell you that they’re hard at the best of times, and near impossible at the worst. However, that doesn’t mean they can’t work out.

We asked over on Instagram what your tips are for how to survive a long distance relationship at university, and here’s what you had to say:

Don’t even bother

One response that came up over and over again was to not even try making your long-distance relationship work.

As one Edinburgh student put it: “Dump them before you go”.

There’s no denying that LDRs can be very draining and unenjoyable at times. For many, they don’t work out and people often wish that they had started university single, rather than still in a relationship.

It’s pretty common for you to know people who started first year with a partner from school, just for things to end pretty quickly. The harsh reality is that for many people, the relationship won’t work out and you’ll regret not ending things sooner.

If you do decide that ending things is the best course of action, just know that heartbreak never lasts forever.

But it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. As one Edi student said: “Don’t force a breakup! It’s harder than compromising”. Some people do go the distance, and if you really love that other person, it’s worth giving it a try.

So, for those of you who think your relationship is worth fighting for, let’s delve into the other nuggets of advice from those who have successfully had an LDR.

Couples who wear matching puffers together, stay together

Cheat/Don’t Cheat

Okay, I also couldn’t not mention the whole ‘cheat/don’t cheat’ debate. In fact, a pretty large number of you said that cheating was the best way to ensure your LDR lasted. Honestly, I’m not convinced.

Funnily enough, it was mostly boys who were pro cheating on your partner, while the girls said the exact opposite.

To the guy who said, “cheat as much as possible but never get caught”, you’re the reason I have trust issues.

That being said, no one’s perfect. Being in a long-distance relationship at uni can be really hard, especially given the party culture. Mistakes do happen, but the best thing to do is own up to them and be honest with your partner and yourself. One student even said: “Controversial opinion, them cheating isn’t the end of the world”.

But do have a think. If you’re really considering cheating, is this actually the relationship for you?

Don’t be a Ross

FaceTime calls and good communication

Now for some practical advice. Having good communication came up A LOT.

Many of you suggested regular FaceTime calls, good morning and good night texts, and regular messages throughout the day all helped make your LDR easier.

One Edi student said you should practice “sending them a random text, either about something good in your day or about how you feel”, to make them feel included in your daily life.

A lot of you also said it was important to “plan things out and always try to know when you’re next seeing them. It should be something to look forward to”.

There were also a lot of responses saying how important it is to communicate about how you’re feeling and what you’re struggling with in the relationship. One person wrote: “Communicate as early as possible, don’t let problems build up and grow.”

This is vital for any relationship, but a lack of communication when you’re doing long distance can be fatal. Trust me, I’d know.

Communication is key

Virtual date nights

Not only should you be regularly calling your significant other, but according to Edi students, virtual date nights are a must.

Lots of you suggested watching films and shows at the same time, playing online games together, or my personal favourite, creating a joint Minecraft world.

It might not be the same as an in-person date, but it’s still a bit of fun and gives you other ways to virtually hang out.

And when they start to annoy you, you can just close your browser.

You can even get a dog <3

Keep busy and make sure you have your own life away from them

It’s important you take care of yourself in a relationship, especially when LDRs can be can so difficult at times. You should remember to enjoy your time at university even though they’re not here.

One wise Edi student said: “Make sure you have your own separate lives too. Don’t forget to give each other space and don’t be overbearing with constant texts”.

Make the most of your time by hanging out with your friends, exploring new parts of the city, and getting involved with societies.

You’ll be seeing them again before you know it.

Get involved with Edi student life!

Some final words of wisdom

If you’re still looking for more tips and tricks on how to make your long distance relationship last, here are some final pearls from your fellow Edi University students who have done it themselves. Caution, not all of these have been scientifically proven:

“When you have sex, make it good”

“Don’t try to copy other couples. Don’t overthink your levels of communication, everyone is different”

“Be the better looking one out of the two of you”

“Send surprise gifts and letters/cards”

“Don’t get into a LDR with an Australian and you’ll be fine”

“Try to block out the negativity of people saying it won’t work”

“Always tell them your doubts and fears – sharing makes them so much smaller”

“Literally just fucking compromise”