Forget ghosts and witches, here are the eight scariest things in Edinburgh right now

Halloween is supposed to be the scariest night of the year, yet living in Edinburgh, there are horrors to look out for all year round.

Sadly, monsters and ghosts are not the worst thing out there when we have Pollock boys and flat rodents walking amongst us. It really is survival of the fittest.

With that in mind, we created a list of the eight scariest things to watch out for in Edinburgh, with the hope that it will help you prepare:

1. The number of mice living in your tenement building

In case you didn’t know, you probably have a flat mouse.

They’re everywhere in Edinburgh and there’s not really any getting rid of them. In fact, old Edinburgh tenement buildings are homes to families of mice as well as people.

If you love a scary story, here are some that will make you shiver to your very core.

2.The thought of getting your laptop stolen in the library

This genuinely keeps me up at night. I mean think about it, it could happen SO easily.

The people who happily leave their MacBooks unattended for hours as they go for lunch are actually fearless.

Protect it at all costs

3. The 40 George Square lifts

Hands down, the 40 GS lifts are the spookiest place in Edinburgh. The sound they make is so eerie and riding them feels like riding to your ultimate doom.

If you have a tutorial on the 11th floor, I’m so sorry. It was nice knowing you.

4. A Pollock boy’s Tinder profile

Everything from the fishing/skiing/sailing pic, to claiming that they’re a great cook, to the unfunny sex remark is just a big fat no.

I would rather spend an evening with Count Dracula than suffer through drinks with some of the Edi boys out there. But then again, who doesn’t love a good ghost(ing) story?

5. The queue for Subway on a Saturday night

A frightful sight. Seriously, how can a line be that long?!

There’s also nothing more distressing than joining a long queue and realising you desperately need the toilet.

If zombie apocalypse films taught us anything, it’s that you should always be prepared.

Survival tip: Bring tissues in case there’s no toilet roll

6. Upcoming deadlines

In my head it’s still Week One, so there’s no way you’re telling me I have three assignments due this week.

Honestly, the idea of spending all week trapped in the library is my worst nightmare.

Sadly, I think it’s one that might become a reality.

7. Your bank account after a night in The Pear Tree

It’s not a pretty sight. Let’s just leave it at that.

8. A Pollock girl’s wardrobe

Imagine opening the doors to a wardrobe and finding 10 pairs of near-identical flares. It’s like a scene from a horror film.

Forget Midsommar, there’s a new deadly cult around and its members are dressed head-to-toe in flares, tote bags and Doc Martens.

Run for your life.

THE HORROR

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• The six types of Edi uni students during The Purge

• Omg, Edinburgh is officially the best city in Scotland to go pumpkin picking

• We researched all of Edinburgh’s ghost stories so you don’t have to