Relationship Application Cover Letter

Dear (Insert name)

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is (Insert name here) and since stalking/ following/ poking you on Facebook/ Twitter/ Adult friend finder, I have become aware of your recent break-up/ virginity/ constant state of singleness and would like to apply for the position of your new boyfriend/ girlfriend.

I currently study at/ recently graduated from the University of Leeds and study/ have studied (insert subject here).  I am currently listed as single as described on my Facebook profile (see link attached — add me?).

I think I am well placed and qualified for the position of your boyfriend/ girlfriend due to my superb interpersonal communication skills and proficient organisational capabilities, not forgetting my complete collection of ALL Harry Potter books in both hard and soft back/ Jack Reacher Novels and DVD.

I have a plethora of relationship experiences sadly only most of these ending due to being cheated on/ cheating with/ short period in prison/ ‘finding’ myself in Thailand. With such experiences my skill set includes being able to cook my own meals, holding hands, cuddling, oral sex, map reading and a new found appreciation of Jack Wills.

I acknowledge the ability to ‘shop’ is desirable and as such I have invested considerable time in the reconnaissance and mapping of all ‘fashionable’ female/ male clothes boutiques and outlets in the whole of the wider Yorkshire region. I also have three new credit cards/ football tickets for the team of your choice in transit for your convenience.

Not only have I included my CV which includes all of my various qualifications, dynamic skills and supreme lovemaking attributes I also completely believe that with my exquisite/ good/average looks and exemplary table manners I will make an exceptional fit as your boyfriend/ girlfriend.

I hope to work with you in the very near future and look forward to building a close relationship with your friends and family, all of them.

I very much look forward to meeting you as soon as possible and with a view to discuss the position as boyfriend/ girlfriend to get this relationship moving forward, quickly.

Thank you for your consideration. (Remember to add me on Facebook)

Sincerely,

(Insert name)

P.S. Add me on Facebook.

P.P.S. Please?