The many struggles of being a basic white bitch in edgy Leeds
Honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now
You heard it was slightly more "quirky" up North (thanks mum,) but you just assumed that meant wearing your Primark boots with a pair of dungarees and a velvet scrunchie. Instead, you were greeted with metallic puffer jackets, fishnet tights and a whole new concept of what it really means to be "edgy".
Having to go to Canal Mills when all you really want to do is listen to RiRi with a spoons pitcher in your hand
All your edgy friends bang on about Beaver Works and Canal Mills, so you rock up to pres in a sequin bralet and velvet culottes, and hope that everyone's forgotten about the avo toast on your snapchat story this morning.
But then the Uber pulls up to an industrial estate in the middle of who-the-fuck-knows where and you spend your night freezing to death knowing that you could have been on your eighth tequila by now in the comfort and warmth of your local spoons.
Being unable to pull of that 'Edgy Leeds' low maintenance look
If I leave my hair natural, wear minimal makeup and throw on some ripped mom jeans I literally look homeless.
Where are the curlers?
Where is the entire collection of Urban Decay Naked palettes?
And most importantly, where is the Garnier Summerbody gradual tan?
Because yes, I am that girl.
Hoop earrings are about as edgy as it gets for you
Bigger the hoop, bigger the hoe.
Trying, and failing to branch out in your love life
You attempt to date really edgy boys that have spent their summer in Africa building houses solely with the goodness of their own heart, but you just end up reverting back to your old type- fuck boys.
Yes, you try to understand how their trip has opened their eyes to an exotic new culture and changed them as a person, but let's be honest all it takes to win you over is the winky face emoji and a cheeky Nandos for two.
Hoping that the chance to decorate your new uni room will reveal the true edgy goddess that you just know is hiding inside
After taking inspo from those in Hyde Park, you create a mental list of all things you hope will enhance your edginess by at least 10%
Mandala tapestry? Check.
Posters from the warehouse raves you were forced to go to? Check.
Arty polaroids that are mostly vape? Check.
But secretly, all you crave is the rose gold decor and fairy lights of your true self.
Last but not least, Missguided.
No explanation needed.