The Tab survey: The results

Hundreds of you told The Tab all your dirtiest bedroom secrets. It’s now time to reveal all from our 2012 Sex Survey.

Which faculty has the kinkiest set of students? Which halls should you get transferred to if you’re desperate for a shag? Read on and find out…

For starters though lets admit it. We’re not all going at it like rabbits. In fact around 12% of students surveyed said they haven’t lost their virginity.

Ok, so we’ve got that out of the way. For some of us, university isn’t the way forward into the wide world of sex. And it looks like school wasn’t much use either.

Of course there’s always a solution if you’re not getting any and it’s called masturbation. 36.1% of our respondents have a bit of personal pleasure 3-4 times a week (at least), with 8% of people at it more than once a day. 

Of those of us who are doing it, who’s doing it in the most number of different beds? (or kitchen floors, where 2.7% of respondents claim they have most of their sexual encounters).

According to our survey it’s students of Social and Historical Sciences, 40% of whom say they’ve had 5-7 sexual partners at university, with a further 27.5% saying they’ve had 7 or more. Almost a quarter of respondents also felt that horny historians made the best sexual partners.

As for our friends in first year…surprise surprise! It’s Ramsay Hall where 28.6% of respondents said they’ve had 7 or more sexual partners. Given that they’ve barely been there seven weeks…we’ll let you do the maths.

Plenty of one night stands then (or lots of mormons in Ramsay), but what are our manners like?

Your mother always told you to let a girl stay in your bed for the whole night, and 65% of you listened to her. Good for you. As for the 7% who said “out straight away, we both knew what this was”…The Tab doesn’t judge but your friends should.

Thankfully for all of you having one night stands 76% of respondents stated that they’ve never had an STI. Be careful though, 17% of people admitted that they’ve never been tested, so party hard, but stay safe.

If you’re staying safe it’s probably a good idea to remember that unless you’re sure about your partner being clean it ain’t a good idea to swallow either. A warning, then, for the 65% of you who do swallow. 17% of you didn’t want to say what you did but for the other 17% who spit, just be careful where you aim.

But perhaps the biggest litmus test for how kinky UCL students are is how many are into anal, still up there with the big sexual taboos (so they say). So 38% of us are into handcuffs and almost 30% like spanking– big deal. The bigger news is that a whopping 48.4% of respondents said yes to anal (although just under 20% said only on special occasions).

And finally, how many of you spend your hours in lecturers looking toward the front of the room with a far-away expression on your face as you imagine your lecturer stripping out of their tweed jacket and posing seductively beside the lectern?

53% of you say no, that’s not your thing. So almost half of you would have anal sex but less than half  get excited by a brainy UCL lecturer as they click through a powerpoint on political cleavages. That, without doubt, is the big story here.