Psychology students are the best looking girls on campus

Maybe it’s the fact 78 per cent of Psychology students here are girls, maybe it’s their emotional understanding given their ever-growing knowledge of the human mind, or maybe it’s just coincidental.

But one thing is for sure, Psychologists are insanely attractive. If you’ve met a beautiful girl on campus she probably studies Psychology. If any males studied it, they’d probably be Herculaic. Lurking in and around Bedford Way they light up Malet Place as they move gracefully from lecture to lecture, no doubt completely aware of the fact you’ve just fallen in love with them.

They don’t go to clubs with sticky floors and sweaty students, they’re pandered to by the Mayfair elite and frequent the likes of Mahiki, Cirque and Tonteria. They don’t get chocolate covered raisins as a snack and kid themselves they’re being healthy, they smash super food salads and eat pomegranate.

Is this real life?

They go to the gym, they work hard and they still look amazing as they take to Libertine having nailed a First in their research methods report. They’re perfect, they don’t make mistakes, they’re everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

There’s something terrifically intimidating about a girl who learns all about your brain. She knows what you’re thinking, what you’ve thought, what you’re going to think. It’s a tantalisingly exciting battle of your own thoughts as you try to talk to them, constantly double-crossing yourself in a bid to cover up your bait long game.

Trying

There’s got to be an evolutionary yearning for a life-long relationship with a girl who studies Psychology. You just know they’ll be the best mother to your future kids, always knowing what to say or how to deal with certain situations your barbaric male mind can’t handle. And as one of the most broadly employable degrees one can undertake, you know you’re going to have a wife with a sick job.

There’s just something strangely intriguing about them. As you sit in your Engineering lecture looking round the room at gormless blokes  staring nonchalantly at the boring lecturer, you can’t help but let your imagination drift and consider what they’re doing. You’re instantly teleported to a world where the lecture hall lights are brighter, everyone’s smiling and perfectly fragranced perfume permeates the surroundings.

Schafer’s never looked so good

Their lectures don’t involve uninspiring 60-year-old men standing in front of power points talking about graphs, they have excitable 20 somethings exploring the labyrinth of the human mind.

If you don’t know any yet, you should get to know some – there’s nothing quite like them.