Meet the UCL rowers ready to get a handle on Varsity victory

It’s their Varsity debut

9 years ago

Guides

This year the UCL rowers will be sailing their way to victory against King’s in the London Varsity series. The four teams (and their coxes) are set to race on Wednesday 9th March and attendance is free.

This is the first year rowing has been included in the London Varsity Series and this mighty bunch are not going to let King’s take the trophy home. Hoping to have your support lining the banks of the River Thames in Chiswick on Wednesday, meet the squads and get ready to cheer them on.

President Louise Blair took us through the team.

Senior Women

Issy ‘Premo’ Powell, third year, Physics

“Learnt to row and won Henley in 8 months – she’s a BIG deal and KNOWS she’s a big deal.”

Lou ‘The Magpie’ Blair, first year, PhD Biomedical Sciences

“Of course as the President of the club she is hoping for that UCL win, but also with 5 BUCS medals, a Henley medal and 5 other Head and Regatta wins to her name she’ll be looking to add a Varsity win to her shiny collection.”

Georgia ‘The Undertaker’ Statham, second year, Arts and Sciences

“Georgia doesn’t just finish her opponents – she buries them. She made the most progress at her short time at UCL to become one of the best rowers ever seen walking down Gower Street in The Undertaker’s coat.”

Claire ‘Claire Bear’ Garnett, third year, PhD Clinical, Educational and Health Psychology

“Towering over the rest of the crew and the majority of the club, it was clear to see why Rowing chose Claire (yes, it was that way around). She is the rock of this women’s 8 and not only will she easily intimidate the King’s crew, but she knows how to psych them out!”

Jess ‘Dr Evil’ Rankine, fifth year, MMBS Medicine

“Powered by bubbles, her manic nature may lull the opposition into a false sense of security and when the umpire starts that race on Wednesday, you’ll see Dr Evil appear!”

Gemma ‘The Scalpel’ Wells, fourth year, MBBS Medicine

“Cutting through the water to make some fast lines, this soon to be doctor will need to be on hand to mend King’s broken hearts.”

Tamsin ‘Quadzilla’ Howard, second year, Anthropology

“Stepping up to senior rowing means she has taken the ‘gains’ train. Providing the big engines for the women’s 8 and 4 she’ll power down the course to UCL victory! Damn look at those quads. Yeah she works out.”

Katie ‘Persil’ Potter, LLM Human Rights Law

“Don’t be fooled by her size, this girl is small but mighty! After rowing for two years at Leeds, she’s come down South for the warm weather training and such is her ambition that she became Senior Women’s captain 4 months into her time at UCLBC. She packs a punch and hopes to be the first across the finish line for the senior women.”

Senior Men

These boys have been rowing for a long time now so know what to do in order to blow the opposition out of the water.

Luke ‘Big Time’ Briggs, third year, Geography

“Don’t be deceived by his quiet nature, rumours are Luke has ‘done stuff’ in the rowing world. Everything, it almost could be said, apart from beating King’s in a head to head. He’s the man for the job in setting up a nice spicy rhythm for the boys come Wednesday.”

Rob ‘Robinho’ Hinchley, third year, Geography

“Backing ‘Big Time’ up and creating the juicy rhythm at 7 is another fellow geographer. A UCL home-brew raised from humble beginnings in his first year. Without a summer win to his name he may technically still be a novice, but don’t be deceived; he packs some cheese.”

Tom ‘72.5kg’ Siday, first year, PhD Electronic and Electrical Engineering

“A new arrival this term, PhD student Tom has shown great commitment since the start of the year despite his significant commitments outside of rowing, such as his numerous, but often unsuccessful, Tinder romances.”

Oscar ‘Zilla’ Frith, first year, History

“A first year coming into the UCL programme, Oscar has built an instant reputation at the boat club for his loose shapes at the Boat Club Boat Ball.”

Mark ‘Moo Shark’ Portnoi, first year, PhD Electronic and Electrical Engineering

“This year’s Senior Men’s Captain, Mark has been at the club since boats were made of wood. He’s also known as ‘Sicko’ after an incident on a flight to training camp…”

Jake ‘Dr. Yellow Bull’ Figi, first year, MBBS Medicine

“With an inflated ego forcing him to leave his RUMS brethren for the lofty heights of UCLBC, Jake can be found sleeping on the sofas of bottom floor Loop at 3am. Liquid diet of Special edition Red Bull.”

Paul ‘Knoop Dogg’ Knoops, first year, PhD Biomedical Engineering

“Backed up by his fellow countryman, Ladler, Knoop Dogg leads our Netherlands imported bow pair. He’ll certainly be bringing the Dutch courage on Wednesday. Unlike his name suggests, only milk and cheese are his fuel.”

Navin ‘Ladlar’ Keizer, first year, MEng Electronic and Electrical Engineering

“Bends oars, lifts big, breaks girls’ (and King’s) hearts. Navin has incredible hair, and is powered solely by Soreen.”

Novice Women

Diving straight into the deep end is what these girls have had to do to make the strides forward that they have. They’ve picked up the technique quickly but are now focusing on those gains.

Vicky ‘Slick Vick’ Jones, second year, Project Management for Construction

“When Vicky isn’t busy not paying her race entries or violently coughing, she’s taking up the helm of the first 8, setting a slick rhythm for her gals. She’ll be setting the pace on Wednesday, leading the novice girldem to undeniable success against KCL.”

Serena ‘Beauty Queen’ Dosanjh, second year, MA Chemical Engineering

“Serena is yet to show up to training without a full face of makeup on, backing up Vicky in second seat and looking good while doing it. The only place she cuts better shapes than on the river is on the Loop dance floor.”

Lauren ‘Director of Rowing’ Bates-Brownsword, second year, Arts and Sciences

“When she’s not deciding crew orders, writing race plans and sorting coaching schedules, our resident D.O.R can be found in the engine room, laying down yam of the purest form. Find her in the 6 seat most likely chatting or laughing throughout the whole race.”

Caitland ‘The Beast’ Lomas, first year, Geophysics

“No one is more at home on the river than Cat. A seemingly timid creature in the 5 dead, The Beast is unleashed once on the river, churning out pure sauce. Also, our most photogenic crew member, she never fails to smile for the camera.”

Hattie ‘Blaze’ Leigh, second year, English Literature

“It’s hard to miss this fiery redhead blazing down the river. Top dog on the leader board, Hattie is dedicated to the cause, leading bow four.”

Lieve ‘Churn and Gurn’ Caron, third year, Arts and Sciences

“She may be small but she definitely doesn’t lack any Dutch courage. Her pain face alone is reason enough for King’s to run and hide.”

Ximin ‘Dark Horse’ Zhou, second year, Mathematics and Statistical Science

“Silent but deadly, this mystery woman at 2 never takes her eyes off the prize. Not even the choppy waters of the Thames can disrupt the silk this Dark Horse brings to the bows.”

Anika ‘The Jedi’ Patel, second year, Geography

“Bringing up the bows, Anika Skywalker will be suing the force to crush King’s, even if it brings out her dark side.”

Novice Men

Even though these boys only started rowing in October they’ve taken to it like ‘rowers to water.’ The fastest Novice Men we’ve seen, we can’t imagine King’s have found anyone better.

Marc de ‘Watch me Fontenaenae’ Fontenay, first year, Computer Sciences

“If he’s not stroking the most successful beginner men’s VIII in the history of UCLBC, you’ll find him in the gym working on his biceps. Rowing’s all about big arms, right?”

Patrick ‘Babyface’ Pflughaupt, first year, Chemistry

“He looks like he’s about 12 and, for all we know, he probably is. But he still gets into Loop and that’s all that really matters anyway.”

Tom ‘Quang’ Ng, first year, Economics

“Quang had a less than stellar start to the term, nearly missing a race by being 2 hours late. He did his 300 push-ups as punishment but, with pre-Varsity hype, there’s no chance he’ll be late on Wednesday.”

David ‘Big Dave’ Sekula, first year, MSc Security Studies

“Eight training sessions a week aren’t enough for Big Dave and he’s lifting everyday as well. Probably explains how he comfortably broke every UCLBC beginning erg record, currently has the fastest 2k and 5k times at UCLBC and is generally massive. Yikes.”

Karol ‘Bob’s Burgers’ Nedza, first year, MSc Research Methods in Psychology

“Along with his degree, Karol’s also a trainer at Bloomsbury Fitness and was always going to be laying down some chunky yam in the engine room.”

James ‘Cantrowper’ Roper, first year, Biochemistry

“You’d never have guessed it, but Roper used to lift. He also can’t row – who needs tekkies when you’ve got gainz? Wee Paddy sits behind him and won’t get to see KCL being smashed at Varsity with Roper’s offensively large back in the way. Poor Wee Paddy.”

Patrick ‘Wee Paddy’ McDonald, second year, Classics

“With a point to prove after missing out on a BUCS medal through illness, Wee Paddy’s giving it his all this Wednesday. He’s also asking Cantrowper for the directions to the nearest squat rack.”

Luis ‘The Quiet One’ Homer, first year, Civil Engineering

“Like both Patricks, The Quiet One isn’t exactly the biggest member of the crew. But he’s a hard-grafter who’s recently worked his way up from the second VIII, and a win at Varsity would be a good result to show for it.”

Coxes

These guys can win it or lose it for the above boys and girls. Not only do they have to steer us down the course, but also shout everything they can do to make sure we make it to the finish line before King’s!

Jess ‘Classic JK’ Knapman, second year, MSci Genetics

“Short, but not sweet, our Coz Captain is hot off the back of a BUCS medal win and ready to claim her next victory. Listen out for that classic JK growl on the water – she means business!”

Virginia ‘Hilary Clinton’ Bones, first year, MA Archaeology of Ancient Egypt and the Near East

“Whoever decided to give this American a microphone clearly made the best decision of their life. She’ll be the one demanding ‘Hip swing!’ and ‘give me that length!’ from all her rowers come Varsity.”