The 11 things about Loop that we miss in Lockdown

Sadly, it seems likely that Loop’s for the year are over, and we’ve had our last VK without even knowing it. Whilst we’re sat at home counting down the days til we can leave lockdown, we’ve decided it would be a good time to reminisce about all the things we never got to say a proper goodbye to…

1. The bus to Loop

The best parts about a Loop night start before you even make it the club. After downing your drinks because you just have to leave right that second to avoid the queue, you run for the bus and chug any drinks you’ve managed to buy on the way. You take over the top floor of the bus and piss off everyone else who isn’t headed to the club at 9:45pm on a Wednesday (so pretty much everyone else).

2. Spending half your night in the Smoking Area

Basically a right of passage, you’re bound to end up here for a significant portion of your night. Doesn’t matter if you smoke or not, you just will. Lost everyone? Smoking area. Feeling sweaty? Smoking area. Its the answer to all loop questions really.

Ah, the memories. One of your friends asking everyone if they have a spare cig or a lighter, one is passed out on the floor in the corner, and one getting with a Lacrosse Lad.

3. That bouncer who lets you into the Smoking Area

One word: Legend. He wields his smiley face stamp with a gleeful power, and seems just as excited to see you as drunk you is to see him. Always asks how your night is going, always stamps you at least five times just for fun, always says bye at the end of the night. What a guy.

4. The most unassuming of drinks: The VK 

One of the best innovations of Wicked Student Nights: the introduction of the VK. Where else in London will you get 4 alcoholic J20’s for £10? You buy as many as you can hold, realise you can’t bring them onto the dance floor with you, try to chug them, feel slightly sick, and then leave a half drunk one on a table in the corner. Needless to say,  the only acceptable VK flavours are Tropical or Orange and Passionfruit.

Props to you if you remember the mythical weeks of the VK bucket, a sickeningly sweet concoction of multiple VK’s and lemonade, which probably what near to no alcohol in, but was still a dream.

5. Groovy Wonderland (aka downstairs)

Yes, you’ve heard right- this is the official name of the downstairs dance area. The highlight of any night is downing your VK’s, and then heading onto the tiny dance floor with your mates. Yes, its crowded, and yes, the DJ doesn’t take requests. But really, who cares? You’re drunk, bound to bump into other people you know, and then run off for another round of drinks. Its the only way to do Loop really.

6. The Bathroom attendants

Can’t speak to what’s going on the men’s toilets, but the toilet attendants in the women’s toilets are the dream. Sandra, affectionately known as ‘Lollipop lady’, is ready to give relationship advice, tell you men aren’t shit, and suddenly your whole night gets a bit better. Obviously you then have to cop a couple of lollipops to bring onto the dance floor with you, which just really compliment the flavour of the VK’s.

7. All of the Queueing (seriously, for anything)

Queue to get in, queue for the cloakroom, queue for the loo, queue for the smoking area, queue for the bar. Seems like the worst part of your night, especially when your especially drunk and you just want to dance, but what I would give to be lining up with my pals to get into Loops right now! No Wednesday night is complete without it. Probably wasn’t as bad as it seemed: a chance to see old mates, meet new ones who you promise to stay friends with but inevitably never see again, and gives you a change to sober up enough to actually be let in.

8. 3 Jaeger Bombs for £10

The deal of the century really. Can’t be bothered to wait in the line for drinks? Find the Jaeger Bomb woman. Probably the nicest woman in the whole of loop, her endless supply of drinks is really what keeps us going. She might also throw in some glow sticks…

9. The Photographer with the uncanny ability to get the worst photo of you

When you’re drunk you don’t look the best in photos. But somehow the Loop Photographer manages to pop up out of nowhere and take a picture which drunk you assume looks amazing, but sober you quickly finds out is awful. Even worse if your one friend looks great in it and decides to post it everywhere, and now every time you go on their feed your faced with the world’s worst picture of you: sweaty, red-faced, and un co-ordinated.

Forever in awe of people who managed to get a Loop photo this good

10. The end of night Maccies

Its 1:30 am, you’ve been at Loop since 9:30pm after hours of drinking before, and all you want is Maccies. Stumbling down Oxford Street in search of the holy grail of post-Loop treats: the TCR McDonalds. Full of Loop attendees who just wants a Big Mac, you’ll be ushered out as soon as your food is in hand, and you’ll probably just eat it on the pavement outside. What we can say? The lure of drunk food is just too strong.

11. Your Group chat the next day

Its just carnage. Your friendship group takes it in turns to do something completely regrettable in Loop, which only comes to light the next day. Someone throws up somewhere, or gets with someone they swore not to. The next obvious step is to take the complete piss out of them, until someone does something even worse the next week- its the circle of life.

Lockdown life just isn’t the same

A Wednesday night zoom drinking sesh and pub quiz just doesn’t replicate it.

Wednesday nights will never be the same <3