Porn Overload: A Warning

Alcohol and sex are undeniably staple features of the student lifestyle. However, not everybody is able to enjoy carnal pleasures on a daily basis- even when standards are completely abandoned as seems to happen on Jester’s dance floor every evening. So the desperate and horny understandably find themselves drawn to some of the more sordid regions of the internet to assist with some – ahem – self therapy.

This is all very well in the comfort of your own home, but in an institutionalised environment like first year halls it appears that overindulgence can have serious repercussions. The Tab has uncovered a letter detailing what happened to one individual who had an excessive appetite for porn. Shown below, the document clearly states that halls staff are in no way amused by internet rumpy-pumpy and that the university will not tolerate abuse of their system.

This student declined to comment about the matter, but rumour has it that he was suspended for the rest of the semester, a stark warning for those first years with well worn “delete history” buttons and rapidly failing eyesight. Perhaps it would be sensible to reconsider YOUR own habits, before being caught sticky handed.