What your Soton halls say about you as a person

It’s Freshers’ Week, which means it's time to prepare yourself for a year of milk thieves, sick on the stairs and the inevitable fire alarms at 2am.

But what is even more inevitable are the assumptions made about you because of which halls you're in. Luckily, we've compiled them all into one place for you to read, you're welcome!

Glen Eyre

No other halls take advantage of the free bus card quite like you. You’re the poster children for Southampton, your parents couldn’t be prouder, but in reality you’re deep in a K-hole with your face in the toilet. You spend most of your time trying to avoid that 4/10 you got off with in Freshers’ Week.

Monte

Chose Southampton as your insurance? Welcome to Monte – this is your punishment. Stress eating for exams has never been easier with your choice of Burger King, McDonalds and Subway practically on your doorstep.

Connaught

The spoilt younger brother of Monte. Assumptions that you can’t boil an egg is probably what you’re used to hearing most nights on the U1C. After strolling into a lecture 20 minutes late, Costa in hand, you like to relax by going back to your idyllic courtyard and living out your Oxbridge fantasy – until you have to scream and run from the Monte commoners invading your common room.

Highfield

Meeting someone from Highfield is like finding a Monte block that doesn’t have someone who shits on the stairs – it's very rare. If you live here, get used to explaining to oblivious course mates that yes, it does exist, and no, it is not actually on campus.

Archers Road

Stuck in a limbo between Westquay and campus, where do you belong? The old people’s home of Soton halls, you hobble into lectures barely breathing from the trek that is Archer’s road. You spend the year desperately searching for the motivation to actually go to a lecture and not just drink your first year away.

Mayflower

How the other half live. Luckily the train station is right next door so popping home to snap up more of daddy’s cash is easy. The perfect spot for Switch and Oceana, you don’t have to spend your nights fighting off Jesters peasants with your Gucci handbag. You can be found on the U2B aggressively tapping their glitter cased phones with their perfectly manicured fingers – probably telling her mates Ophelia and Arabella how truly awful it is not having a Selfridges nearby.

Liberty Point

No one knows exactly where this is, and even by April you’re still not sure yourself. You’re as elitist as Mayflower but don't have enough of a big flashy building to show it off.

Chamberlain

Last but not least, the newest of them all. Fantastically fancy, you're tucked away next to Glen in your own decadent bubble. Half of you will just tell everyone you're from Glen Eyre because you don't think Chamberlain is edgy enough. But you're probably right, you can't be boho – grunge when you're living in a place that looks like Centreparcs.