Made in Chelsea Series 4, Episode 7

THEY HEARD MY PRAYERS. In what I can only assume is in response to my reaction to Binky’s Mum a few weeks ago, this week Made in Chelsea featured the mothers of Ollie, Cheska and Binky. The trio calmed my exam diet (and Christmas ball diet) fears with discussion of their (remarkably similar) hairstyles and the love lives of their children. There were also death threats directed towards a certain interloper…Basically, it was a life-affirming scene. Is it too daring to suggest we meet the dads?

However lovely this was, there were certain other aspects of the episode which were much more disturbing:

– I fundamentally object to the continued presence of Lucy and her use of “gutted”, “beef”, “that sucks” and “all up in my grill”. From the raised eyebrows of the other Made in Chelsea characters, they also feel the same. Who is she? Why is she hanging about? She is a direct contrast to the show’s excellent and established tradition of expression through convoluted sentences and long, lingering pauses. I can only imagine she is an attempt at a more ‘accessible’ non-Chelsea-esque girl (the insinuations of her really being from Essex are present already), after the successful consolidation of the other existing MIC cliques.

– There was a disproportionate amount of emotion attached to the dogs this week. Way back in Season 1, Rosie’s insanity was demonstrated by her ‘dog therapist’ debacle, and now we saw Millie distraught over the forced adoption of her pet (accessory). Considering Millie normally has no emotional range at all (to the point where I have sometimes considered her a tall, beautiful robot, with a ridiculous dog by her side) this was a revelation. Equally, the canine-themed cattiness (eugh, see what just happened there? Exams have ruined me) continued with Cruella-themed jibes at a fur-clad Victoria. Who knew a dog could provide such social ammunition?

– Proudlock and Sophia: it’s not nice and it’s not clever. And you’re starting to wear the same glasses/clothes. It’s weird. Stop.

– Massive (massive) arguments about girlfriend material occurred whilst everyone was dressed in period costume. I can’t have been the only one wanting to make a fabric-based joke…That being said though, as always, the aesthetics were particularly pleasing!

That’s all for this week: now if only I too, like Victoria, were off for a ‘restorative blow-dry’…

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