St Andrews creates device to get drunker faster

If the University of St Andrews has its way, you may never again have to accept watered down or toxic drinks thanks to a new method that uses a laser to tell whether or not whisky or other spirits are fake and/or toxic.

Apparently, this new technology could be translated into a portable device, which consumers could use at their leisure while bar hopping. Take that, establishment!

Here’s how it works: according to Praveen Ashok, Bavishna Balagopal and Professor Kishan Dholakia who spoke to The Herald, these conclusions about whisky can be taken from a single “teardrop” of the spirit onto a transparent “plastic chip, no bigger than a credit card.” After that “light is then delivered to, and collected from the liquor sample using optical fibres – each has the dimensions of human hair – to diagnose the sample by a collection of light scattered from it,” according to The Herald. 

Basically, it’s just a whole lot of science packed into miniature form, to be used for the good of all of those very particular drunken people and those wishing to avoid alcohol poisoning or death. The team hopes to help prevent the deaths of hundreds of people every year due to toxic liquor. It’s a win-win all around.