Clubbers of the week: Freshers’ Edition
Chaos returns to York
Callum McCullochA new term is upon us and we’ve all returned to impossibly packed out clubs, and us third years have realized we are now utterly irrelevant. But as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, every year a new group of innocent freshers descend on this fine city and make absolute tits of themselves.
Many freshers’ week veterans were also keen not to miss out on the fun showing you don’t have to be 18 to get embarrassingly loose.
Hotties of the week
Freshers’ week is for terrible fancy dress, but we’ll let you off
Runners Up
Undisputed best dressed of the week
Hat’s off to these lads
Creep of the week
Those come to bed eyes
Hero of the week
This is so #uni
Best fingering technique of the week
Satisfaction guaranteed
Worst fingering technique of the week
Not sure that’s how it’s done
Mystery floating arm of the week
I have so many questions
Inappropriate shirt unbuttoning
You’re not Peter Andre mate
Most unnecessary jewelry
Straight off ASOS Marketplace
“Mum, but you told me to call you during freshers”
There will be a lot of explaining tomorrow
Intervention of the week
“Pete, you need to stop dabbing”
Quagmire lookalike of the week
Giggity
Illuminating fart of the week
Classic smelly Langwith
Here’s someone who has just won and then wasted a lifetime supply of glitter
He’ll be finding glitter everywhere for weeks
Most serious allergic reaction to females of the week
I hope he brought his epipen
Over-eager marriage proposal of the week
“Not with that hair Stephen”
*She’s touching my willy, but stay calm*
No one will know
VK promoter of the week
“Excuse me, certified legend coming through”
Indoor sunburn of the week
He really should have used factor 50
And here’s a photo not to show your Mum
Probably best to de-tag this one
The ultimate guide to feeling like a main character in York this autumn
Pia MillsDid someone say dark academia?
Students have protested over presence of weapons companies at Uni of York’s career fare
Sarika Patel‘Student fees are covered in the blood of innocent refugees’
He hasn’t risen: New Long Boi on York’s campus is unlikely to be the original, says expert
Jess RolfeThere’s a new Long Boi on campus
Omg guys, a new Long Boi has been spotted on York’s campus and people are going crazy
What should we call him?
YUSU launches a Rate Your Landlord charity project with Unipol
To make the project viable YUSU needs at least 400 responses
York SU announces applications have opened for the largest ever rent support package
Eligible students are to get at least £100
Every Uni of York college as which British chain restaurant they’d undeniably be
Cameron HollickHalifax has Spoons energy and I won’t be told otherwise
From bollards to bones: Here’s everything you need to know about the Shambles roadworks
Jodie VeitchMedieval bones have been found during the installation of anti-terror barriers in the Shambles
York Nightline closure will leave ‘a significant gap in student support’ say ex-volunteers
One volunteer told The York Tab: ‘YUSU absolutely could have done more to support volunteers’
Club Salvation is conducting a review after a student was punched in the face by a bouncer
A video circulated online of the altercation that took place in the club’s smoking area
YUSU’s Board of Trustees has decided against re-ratifying York Nightline
After half a century, Nightline has now closed
Student campaigners at Uni of York have dropped a banner and let off flares from Central Hall
The group are calling on the uni to transition to plant-based catering to combat the climate crisis
A York graduate is taking part in The Great British Bake off this year
He made a three-tier, 12 layer, birthday cake for his 21st and I’m obsessed
As a second year Uni of York student, here are my top tips for freshers
Violet KennerkI’ve learnt from my mistakes so you don’t have to
York UCU has called off next week’s strike action after ‘positive local talks’
All teaching will go ahead as normal next week
The York Tab is looking for new writers and we want you!
Come to our open meeting on Tuesday 26th September 6:30pm!
A ‘ghost’ has been caught cycling through the Shambles in a creepy video circulating online
It was probably trying to get there nice and early to beat the Ghost Merchants’ queue
Your complete and essential guide to Uni of York’s 11 colleges
Natasha RichardsonThe REAL pros and cons to college life x
Uni of York ranks 15th in the Times’ Good University Guide 2024
The university was also shortlisted for University of the Year
A dramatic recap of the Whole Zara McDermott and Sam Thompson cheating scandal
anotherstephenRemember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?
Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
Emily SmithThere have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
Hayley SoenThe drama really never ends!
Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore
Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Ellie RingGive this man all the baguettes
Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these
Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight
Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
The incident was caught on camera