
All the realest tweets about A-level results
‘Queen Elizabeth II didn’t get any A-levels, and look at her now’
It’s that time of year again: 18-year-olds up and down the country are opening those brown paper envelopes with baited breath, ready to find out what their future holds.
Meanwhile, 40-year-old men up and down the country are taking to Twitter to offer their unsolicited advice on their own bad grades, clearing culture and how results don’t really matter anyway.
Here are this morning’s best tweets about the horror that is A-level results.
A-level students: life is a doomed search for meaning. Romance & friendship bring only temporary respite. Your results will not save you.
— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) August 18, 2016
My A Level hot take: Pitbull doesn't have A Levels and he's Mr 305. We should all be like Pitbull
— Hussein Kesvani (@HKesvani) August 18, 2016
people shouldn't worry too much about exam results. I failed year 12 and now look at me, I cry myself to sleep every night listening to U2
— Liam (@Millxr) August 18, 2016
The story of my own A level results is quite interesting, actually. It begi-
*gets beaten to death*
— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) August 18, 2016
My cousin just got into uni and this is the first thing he said ? pic.twitter.com/PRe6TbVY5J
— george kwame (@Jeff_GK) August 18, 2016
I didn't get into Uni but it's FINE because I'm still in loads of debt and made poor life choices during my youth so it's kinda the same
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) August 18, 2016
To people with bad results today: don't worry you'll get into a crapper uni through clearing and do a ton of pills during freshers
— kav (@Kav_Kaushik) August 18, 2016
Good luck to everyone getting their A-level results today. Remember, Neil Armstrong didn't get any A-levels, and he walked on the moon.
— Rob Corp ️ (@RobertCorp) August 18, 2016
Get bad results today? Good news: unless your career involves surgery or finance, your degree will make no difference. #alevelresults
— Philly Byrne (@PhilipNByrne) August 18, 2016
If you don't get the exam results you wanted, look at all the Pokemon you collected instead & that will make you feel better. #alevelresults
— Rick Burin (@rickburin) August 18, 2016
Remember, if you don't get the A level results you hoped for today, they're loads easier than they used to be & you're probably a bit thick.
— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) August 18, 2016
A level students: whatever your results, remember that Earth is a tiny speck in an infinite vacuum and nothing you do will ever matter
— Stuart Heritage (@stuheritage) August 18, 2016
If your boyfriend or girlfriend got good A-level results today and is off to uni, cherish this time together – you'll be dumped by Christmas
— The Guyliner (@theguyliner) August 18, 2016
'There's always clearing' 'I got 3 Us, now I'm a billionaire' 'Well, there's nothing you can do now' #alevelresults pic.twitter.com/EPGaGeIfv8
— Courtney ✨ (@WaitCourtneyWho) August 17, 2016
If your worried about your A Level results, don't be. I rhymed Rambo with Django and managed to buy a Lambo. You'll be alright. Good luck ❤️
— #WOBBLEOUTNOW (@LethalBizzle) August 18, 2016
Don't worry if your A-Levels aren't what you were hoping for: an adulthood of creeping tragedy awaits everyone, regardless of results.
— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) August 18, 2016
I aced my A Levels but in some part that was due to inherent socioeconomic privilege. Not sure it's much of a heartwarming anecdote tbh.
— Alan White (@aljwhite) August 18, 2016
Remember kids, Queen Elizabeth II didn't get any A-levels. And look at her now.
— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) August 18, 2016
Folks if you've buggered up your A-Levels and can't go to university now, you've helped your career prospects and saved £40k of student debt
— Jack (@Debaser92) August 18, 2016
If your A level results are disappointing, don't worry. I got a C and two Us, and I'm currently on a superyacht in the Med.
— Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson) August 18, 2016
I remember when I got my A Level results. Twitter wasn't around then so we all had to spend all day calling up journos and celebs for advice
— Tom Peck (@tompeck) August 18, 2016
I didn't do A-levels and it didn't do me any ham.
— cluedont (@cluedont) August 18, 2016

A dramatic recap of the Whole Zara McDermott and Sam Thompson cheating scandal
Remember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?

Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
He’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off

Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
There have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni

MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
The drama really never ends!

Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended

‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby

Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore

Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Give this man all the baguettes

Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this

Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast

Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!

From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these

Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough

‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’

MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’

‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight

Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
The incident was caught on camera