I don’t want no clubs, clubbers of the week can’t get no love from me
Hangin out the passenger side of their Uber rides tryin to holla at me
Bobby PalmerThe week is almost over. Sad face. But that means you get to read clubbers of the week, as you do every lazy Sunday evening. Happy face!
Here are the best clubbers in the UK this week.
Best makeup of the week
Would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling lips
When your mate’s a virgin and you want to support him
Here for u man
*record scratch* You might be wondering why I’m wearing a pleather bomber on a nightclub dancefloor
It all started in Coventry Topman, back in 2008
When you wake up to go to the toilet and can’t find the light switch
Careful now
How could I resist a man who was in the Royal Highland Show!
It’s Scotland’s most prestigious annual farming and countryside showcase!
Mate I think there are rats in this club
Nah man I’m serious I think I just saw one
When one of the boys cracks open a cold one
Howay the lads
When he tells you Big Ben is actually the name of the bell
Gurl it’s actually called Elizabeth Tower why would I lie 2 U?
The nectarine epidemic is tearing our nation’s youth apart
So young and so hooked on fuzzless peaches
Erm
OK?
When you steal a precious pitcher from the giants of Brobdingnag
Hurry, before they realise what you’ve done!
We all have that one friend who’s terrified of club logos
FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Can you guess which of these is painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?
Trick question. It’s both!
The Black Death has taken so many of our clan
Come with us, lest you perish as well
A dramatic recap of the Whole Zara McDermott and Sam Thompson cheating scandal
anotherstephenRemember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?
Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
Emily SmithThere have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
Hayley SoenThe drama really never ends!
Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore
Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Ellie RingGive this man all the baguettes
Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these
Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight
Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
The incident was caught on camera