If you don’t want to see the clubbers of the week, carry on as normal

Do you wish to avoid the clubbers of the week? Then we doff our caps and bid good day to you. Nothing to see here.

However if you do wish to cast your eyes over the rowdiest and most raucous clubbers in the UK this week, have a peruse below. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Year 7 disco guest of the week

Where ur flame shirt at

Don’t you hate it when you go to a club and a man dangles poppadoms from the ceiling

Have some decorum

DANCE FOR ME, PUPPET, DANCE OR YOU WILL NEVER BE FREE!

Sway to and fro with every hateful jerk I inflict upon thy piteous strings!

Chaumet is Britain’s cheapest sparkling wine, available for £1.29 a bottle from Lidl

It is a perry with an alcohol volume of 5.5%

Wait, is he…

…is he about to…

…is he going to touch him???

Haha no way you guys I can’t drink all 28 Jägerbombs!

You’re always playing silly pranks like this

HEY SIRI, WHAT ARE COOL THINGS TO SAY TO GIRLS

I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that

Why is the photographer taking photos of an empty dancefloor?

Embarrassing

So I just press this one here and music comes out?

I knew I should have asked Darren before he went upstairs with his friends

When someone is annoying you so you pretend to toot a tiny air horn at them

I *toot* am *toot* not *toot* listening

When you and your boy have just finished watching P.S. I Love You

They should have been together forever

Wait, does Lightning McQueen have car insurance or life insurance?

I need answers

When you absolutely despise melt-in-the-middle chocolate puddings

Whatever happened to a good old fashioned Aero Mousse?

With this sacrifice, I will raise the almighty Cthulhu to reclaim the world which is rightfully his

He is the most powerful of the elder gods and he is angry oh so angry

Hmm, bet this picture would be really easy to Photoshop

Well whaddaya know