The ultimate Christmas list for Oxford Brookes

It’s that time of year where everyone gets a boyfriend for the winter, an iMac for Christmas and a 2:1 in their first semester essays. But poor old Brookes hasn’t got anyone buying presents for it this year.

We thought we would at least write a list of what we think it should be getting from Santa, even if there’s more chance of having a white Christmas than bringing back our beloved Wahoo.

Wahoo and Warehouse to re-open

We know this might be asking for too much, but it’s the least we deserve after the mess that 2016 has been having two of our most beloved clubs taken away from us. When Warehouse closed we were all sad, but we could accept it because we knew that we could just stumble down to Wahoo and the same Brookes crowd would still be there. But now we are forced to share Fuzz with Oxford Uni in Atik – there is simply no hope for us. Who could have foreseen two of the biggest names in the Brookes nightlife being taken from us in the same year?

An SU night

Can you imagine being quadruple parked in a night where the drinks are cheaper than town, only Brookes students are allowed in and it’s a ten second stumble from halls? We can, and Brookes used to have such a place until the no alcohol policy was introduced across the university and our dreams were crushed. Now the best they can do is an uneven pool table in a mediocre SU bar and the occasional collaboration with a repping company.

A bus service that runs on time

If you have ever had to suffer a trip to Harcourt Hill or Wheatley you know the pain of being told the bus arrives at 07:45 and then three show up at 08:30. When you know you’re going to be left waiting in the cold for half an hour there is a bit less motivation to get out of bed for that non-mandatory 9am. Would it be too difficult for the uni to give us a bus that ran on time seeing as we are giving them nine grand a year?

A better funded SU

Wouldn’t it be nice if we had an SU that can throw bigger and better events than screenings of documentaries. They do seem to be doing more this year as they campaign for cheaper food, but they still can’t guarantee that the safety bus will be there when you need it. All the SU really needs is some more funding and a club night and we might rise in the national standings.

More Jesus statues

Because that’s what Christmas is all about.

Cheaper food

This probably cost a tenner

Cheap food and cheaper booze are what students need to survive without being homeless, or living in Wheatley. But these are both things we are deprived of when we live in the least affordable city in the country. Who’s got the money to pay for expensive food when rent is over £500 a month?

More computers in JHB

This is what’s needed to get a computer in JHB from week 10

As much as we all love JHB there just aren’t enough computers for everyone in there come deadline season. With over 16,000 students at Brookes, we need more space to study. Or, we can ban freshers from the library as their year doesn’t even count.