The best places to chunder in Cardiff

DISCLAIMER: If you actually follow this “advice” you’re officially a loose cannon.

The premise is simple, The Tab investigates some of the ‘Diff’s hottest venues to find the best cold, ceramic, toilet seat on which to lay your poorly head. Let’s crack on.

Gassy Jacks

It’s been a heavy pre-drinks in Cathays, and losing another game of pool sends you into the realm of the forfeit: a whole pitcher of Gassy’s long island ice tea. Time for a TC.

The ‘trough’ style urinal.

Luckily Gassy’s provides an alternative to the obvious cubicle option, this being an open and easily accessible urinal. No waiting around with this little puppy.

Some classic hand-dryer action here.

Buffalo

The latrina option in the trendy Buffalo bar can comfortably see you through that hazy just-one-more zone. This outfit offers a rather trippy black tiled decor, harking on the ministry of magic black tile effect. Quite the irony if your Harry Potter fancy dress has seen you be a bit of a Vomdermort©.

The bewitching toilets of Buffalo.

Tiger Tiger

Tiger takes the concept of a urinal before adding in flashing screens and games- not like you’ll know, you’ll be chundering in the cubicle next door.

The fun & games will distract you from the sick on your shirt.

Revolution

Revs benefits from having quite large toilets.  There are plenty of options to dive into and dispense your chunks. Be warned, though, because those stairs have claimed many a fresher.

Why not wash off that foul smell with some lovely soap? Just don’t drink the water…

Walkabout

The sports bar with, dare I say it, not the best reputation amongst Cardiff’s elitist students. Nevertheless, the huge St. Mary Street club clearly has your needs in mind; offering an abundance of toilet roll to clean up after yourself, you dirty beast, you.

Spoilt, quite frankly.

Y Plas

The SU has seen some serious mares in it’s time. One would think the recent refurb was to make the pathway from ill-advised tequila shot to toilet bowl as simple as possible. Sadly, as often is the case, it’s so rammed- as below- you’re probably better going off the smokers balcony (Jesus Christ, do not do that.)

You’re right. These are all boys toilets. It would be weird if I, a man, would have gone into the ladies, no?

Live Lounge

Ah, Live Lounge. It’s almost over. A sickening night of debauchery and regurgitation is nearly at an end. Thank god they are quite the un-threatening, calming, and simple vestibules to take your spew. Best not look anyone in the eye, mind.

Bog Standard.

Burger King

Yes, really. Don’t pretend no one has ever gone for a BK post-Glam and not instantly regretted it. It’s an integral part of the Cardiff experience. Sadly, it just doesn’t look too clued up to your needs right now.

What? That’s it?

Now go home and sleep it off.